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2008-05-14 - 12.18am previous entry next entry
An update about recent things...
Thank you so much for the lovely comments on my last entry! :)
Today, just so I don't forget:
Arthur weed twice in the potty.
Matthew weed twice in the potty!
Nathan rolled from back to front for the first time (he got front to back down a few weeks ago).
Neil was out from 10am to 4pm AND I SURVIVED!!! ;) In fact, the day was uncannily smooth and straightforward, hmmm. The boys had lunch by noon, Matthew was down for his nap by 1pm, Nathan napped within 90 minutes of waking up, all day (and even had a long-ish morning nap! He is a bit of a 30-minute boy, which I'm trying to CHANGE!), everybody had nappy changes at good regular intervals (no big boy poos, hoorah! Those are no fun! ;) But, three blow-out Nathey poos - yayness!), and I set up a big water play for the boys in the garden for the last 2 hours before Neil got home, with three big see-through tubs of water, and like a HUNDRED (okay, maybe 30 or 40) containers, floating toys, and pouring toys in bright colours, etc.
I slathered the boys in kiddie sun cream and put their hats on, and they both said, "Wwwwooooooowww!" when they saw the bright tablecloth on that grass (that we use for crafts) with all those things scattered like Hundreds and Thousands around the tubs of water! The grass is somewhat prickly at the moment because the neighbour has cut down a portion of his conifer hedge in preparation for buying the end of our garden, and the bits and pieces from it have dried in the sun and can act like thorns in little feet (twice so far :( Must get the boys some summer shoes or sandals soon - Matthew fits a pair that Arthur grew out of last summer and has plenty of growing room, so that's good! But Arthur has no summer shoes. I am hoping to get him some Crocs eventually because those seem like they will be the best for his feet with the problems he has with them). So, the play/craft mat. It's huge so it was very useful!
They sat and tipped and poured and splashed for an hour straight, and then they were both soaked through and cold when the wind blew on them, so I stripped them down and put a pair of big boy pants on each of them (Thomas the Tank - age 3-4 - Matthew's were a little baggy, hehe!) and a dry T-shirt, and Arthur carried on for basically another hour! Matthew got bored of water play so roamed around the garden riding on the ride-on cars or just running about. I LOVE having a garden all of a sudden! I remember this joy from last summer! Hopefully we'll maintain the garden better this year, now that it's going to be smaller and just a lawn to mow. We have brambles growing out of the patio and need to remove those asap, and do something about how we store our rubbish bins there. And scrub the patio down. And mend the fence that's leaning over! And then the boys can play there all the time without a worry. It's sooooooooooo easy for me, and they love it!
Tomorrow it's going to be water play again because they loved it so much. Arthur asked if we could do it again tomorrow. When Neil got home the boys were playing in the garden after 2 straight hours of fun and sunshine, and I had Nathan in the baby bjorn (I yearn for an Ergo, for when Nathan's head control will be good enough for a back carry in a couple of months!!) and was busy loading the dishwasher! Yay! I feel great about today.
I KNOW I have only just begun in terms of having all three on my own all day, all the time (Neil is still at home with no job, so it's just a practise day today), and I KNOW there will be some disasterous days! But I feel so confident about it. I feel - dare I say it? - like three is somehow easier than two, when Matthew was Nathan's age. I know that sounds crazy, but really. The two older ones can entertain each other and so there isn't one lonely child while you're trying to settle the baby for the millionth time. You've had two babies, so you are finally starting to iron out a couple of the mistakes you made the other times! ;) Especially with naps and routines. Nathan fits in just fine because he just gets up and naps 90 minutes later, ALL day. However long he sleeps. I am SO MUCH less stressed this time than I ever was the other two times. About naps and stuff. The whole world was about to crash and burn if Arthur did not get his nap because Matthew was up and down like a yo-yo and would not settle, when it was just the two of them. And if Matthew's naps weren't JUST SO, I would stress about making them just so. This time, yes, Matthew still breastfeeds to sleep (thus requires my presence to go to sleep for his nap, like Arthur did), but it's so straightfoward! And I can't figure out HOW it's this straightforward, when it was soooooo difficult to juggle last time with two nappers at the same ages.
I put Nathan down. If it's between 12.30 and 1.30pm, as soon as he's asleep, I change Matthew's nappy and take him to bed, nurse him to sleep and go back downstairs to Arthur, who has usually been quietly watching CBeebies while I've settled the little ones. I expect Nathan to wake on the dot of half an hour, and when he does - because I'm expecting it, and it's now the THIRD time I have had little ones waking at the 30 minute mark - I am not stressed about it. I do leg it upstairs and attempt to get Nathan back to sleep, which he sometimes does, but if it doesn't work then I'm fine with bringing him down.
Mind you, some of the variables are easier this time. I have been working with Nathan a lot over putting him down to sleep (learning from my previous mistakes/experiences!). I am now at the point where I know he's tired, or I know it's "time" for him to go for a nap, because of the GLORIOUS 90-miunute rule. I take him upstairs, kiss his sweet little head, and lay him straight down (on his tummy - he's still a tummy sleeper for now) in his cot. He pretty much always makes a big fuss and squirms about crossly! I then do one long "shhhhhhhhh" sound as loud as I can (I used to do that to cut through the major screaming for a moment so that he could hear me start a "shh shh shh" rhythm! But I haven't had to do that for a while now :) ) and offer him his dummy. The "shhhhhhhh" stops him crying with a start, and then he usually takes the dummy straight away. I sometimes pat his bottom a few times if he's squirmy still, but usually he starts to roll his eyes shut the instant he's sucking. And I leave the room! It's becoming more and more usual now for him to take himself off to sleep. Occasionally he won't have the dummy and chews and sucks on his fingers and fists, and his eyes do the rolling thing and he goes to sleep by himself. So he is EASY to settle compared with my other babies! But I really have worked with him to achieve it, as I soooo did not want to have the same experience again!
That helps! And Matthew is a better sleeper than Arthur ever was, with naps. When Matthew was a baby, every time he stirred, the noise would wake Arthur, even in another room. Arthur never did nap well, from start to finish! So then I would have a baby to settle and a toddler to settle, because both had got up too soon and both needed more sleep! But I found it so hard to meet both needs, and often found it soooo stressful. But Nathan goes to sleep by himself almost, and it's quick if he does need my help. And Matthew stays asleep through Nathan waking and crying. Matthew naps about 90 minutes still, which is wonderful! But if he DOES wake earlier than that or I can't get him to sleep in time for him to have a nap, then I won't stress about it this time. Unless it gets to be every day.... But I don't see that happening till it becomes obvious that he's ready to drop his nap.
Anyway so it's much less stressful! When Nathan is up, he is being talked to by me (or Neil), and by Arthur. He goes under his play gym thing and watches the stuff hanging, and bats at things a little if I hang bright coloured things low enough for him to reach. He has tummy time and back time on a mat or towel on the floor. I do the EASY plan (a la Baby Whisperer) this time, which I partially did (or started but didn't continue, I can't remember which) with Matthew - as soon as Nathan gets up, I breastfeed him as long as he wants (not for long - the boy can STUFF himself full in less than 5 minutes these days! Occasionally he's more leisurely, espacially if he's sleepy, and will nurse for 10 minutes, say. That feels like SUCH a long nursing session to me when it happens!), and then he is on the floor or in his bouncy chair (constantly trying to crunch his abs and sit up in there now, so maybe not much longer in that?), or under the play gym, having his "Activity" time. Sometimes I read to him with picture books, or touchy-feely books (we have lots now!) and I take his hand and stroke the textures with his fingers somewhat awkwardly, but he seems to love it and pay attention all the same! When he fusses after a while of one thing, I hold him for a bit while I do stuff with the boys (or Neil does), and he just sits and watches life going on in the house really. He also loves being held in front of the mirror right now! Mostly he talks and smiles to our reflections, but sometimes he sees himself (so cute!). And he gets a nappy change. And then I can never believe it when I check the time and it has been like an hour and 15 minutes already since he got up! Or he's fussing and rubbing his face on me or yawning, and I can't believe it's nap time already! So I put him down, and off to sleep he goes, and thus another cycle begins! He's a very easy baby so far. I just love him to bits!
My definite plan is to potty train Arthur and Matthew together over the summer. Yikes! What fun that will be! ;) But soooo worth using the summer months. I am not sure Matthew will be ready for it, because he's only just coming up to 2, and he's a boy. Boys are generally ready later than girls. And just turning two is on the early side for either sex. But I think it will be worth a try, because he is already showing most of the signs of readiness (according to the lists!). He can tell us when he has done, is doing, or is about to do a poo or wee, though less often for the wee. He has great bladder control in that he can stop and start the flow of urine instantly if we ask him to, and has been piddling in stop/move-to-new-spot/go manner all over the living room when he doesn't have his nappy on since he was FOURTEEN months! *sigh* He is really interested in the potty and loves to have a turn sitting on it, even fully clothed! ;) He has an added incentive in that his big brother (who he adores and always wants to copy) will be potty training this summer. So it's worth a try, right? But I won't expect too much of him. I'm excited that he weed twice on the potty today. He got a Smartie each time, just like Arthur does. He also weed on the carpet twice.
Arthur has been weeing and pooing on the potty a LOT, most days, and sometimes several times a day, for a couple of months now. We haven't done ANY formal potty training with him, and he is still 100% in nappies. He is perfectly able and ready. He just has so far expressed a desire NOT to wear big boy pants instead of nappies, so we haven't pushed it. He has no trouble whatsoever performing either way on the potty, which is good.
He's three-and-a-half, by the way!!!! I can't believe we are already halfway to another birthday! It's crazy how fast the time is going. He was 3 years and 6 months old on the 9th. Nathan turned 4 months old yesterday (so his adjusted age is now 3 months old, since he was due almost exactly 3 months ago). And Matthew turns 23 months old tomorrow - one month till his 2nd birthday!!! I still haven't thought about what to dooooo. I wasn't sure if we might be in France (wheeee!) for his birthday, but it has taken a while to get the passport applications sorted out. I finally got them countersigned and tonight I put everything in the envelope for all three applications (Neil, Matthew and Nathan), and it can be posted TOMORROW!! Yay! Then it's a 2-3 week turnaround, so hmmm, I'm not sure if we'll fit in a visit to my parents this side of July. They are coming over for a weekend at the beginning of July, because it's the traditional family get-together at Grandoug's birthday. He will be 83 this year! This year everyone is able to go so I'm excited! I have a tiny family (lots of only-children) so it's a small do, but getting bigger nonetheless! :) Every year there is a new baby! I was pregnant with Arthur in July 2004, and had just found out he was a boy that week! I remember showing the u/s pictures around :) Then in July 2005, Arthur was the centre of attention, hehe! He was nearly 8 months old. In July 2006, Arthur was 20 months old, and Matthew had arrived! He was 3 weeks old. In July 2007, I had my two little lovelies (with Nathan newly on the way!) aged 2.5 and 1, and Thea was the new baby at 6 weeks old. THIS year, Nathan is the new baby!
I figured out that if we are all able to be there NEXT year, the little ones will be aged 4, 3, 2 and 1! How lovely :) I'm not sure that there will be a new baby next year though! I don't know when Bennie and Sarah are thinking of trying for another baby (I know they want another though), but I don't think I would have had another baby by then! Nathan would only be 17 months old. I would really hope to be pregnant by then though, maybe even quite pregnant!
I'm waffling. Ho hum....
It's Thea's first birthday tomorrow! We went to her birthday party on Sunday. She had a picnic at the park with other babies her age that they socialise with at baby groups. And us! Nathan hated the outdoors again and cried the whooooole time. He had a tiny nap and breastfed several times but was generally miserable. It was very hot and sunny and windy and he doesn't like any of those things! He's like Arthur, and me. Neil and Matthew don't mind the summery weather when it gets hot. Anyway it was lovely to be at her birthday party! We had to buy some T-shirts for Arthur as he doesn't have any in his size! He has really grown these last few months and doesn't fit a thing from last summer (fairly understandably, since's he's between 3 and 4 now, not between 2 and 3 like last summer's clothing says!). I've been looking for a cheap deal on eBay for about a month, but T-shirts seem to be selling well on eBay right now (probably the time of year!), and in the end I looked at the prices at Next and figured I might as well buy a couple of multipacks of T-shirts there for about as much (when you include postage at eBay). Also, I know Bennie and Sarah were hoping for summer dresses for Thea for her birthday rather than lots of toys (they have a small-ish maisonette), and so I wanted to check out the girlie clothes there. Yes, I know we have no money.
I bought this sweet little set. The shop we went to didn't have a very big selection, but OH how fun it was to browse with purpose the GIRLIE clothes!!! :) Yay for having a niece! Hehe!
Oh, I forgot to write about the shopping trip when it happened! I meant to write an entry about it. I took Arthur out on his own for some quality time and to buy him a sunhat, some T-shirts, and a couple of pairs of shorts. We did get the shorts and the T-shirts, but they didn't have any hats in stock in his size (sold out quickly with the hot weather!). Arthur was very excited about it! We drove to a shopping complex that we haven't been to before, because there was a bigger Next there than our local one. It was HUGE. It reminded me of the big retail lots in the States with masses of parking - a big sprawling lot with the (huge) shops in a big horse-shoe shape, and parking in the middle of the horse-shoe, sort of. A pavement wrapped around the car park area, running around the horse-shoe of shops. We parked right at one end of the horse-shoe because that's where Next was. But, when they didn't have any hats, we set off hand-in-hand to look in the other shops.
Now, Arthur is one for darting about manically in shops and not doing as he's told. *sigh* It's an ongoing issue, and something we're really trying to fix at the moment. He climbs behind displays and disappears 0.5 seconds after I finally clap eyes on him, etc. He moves about soooo fast. I had a talk with him in the car about getting lost, and what to do if he does get lost, and who to talk to and who NOT to talk to, etc. He didn't get lost. In Next, he bounded all over the shop, but stayed in the children's area thankfully. He just would not mind me at all. He DID come over if I asked him to, but not the first time I asked, and he wouldn't stay. So, he had already been a monkey in Next. I talked to him about that as we left, and when we got into another shop, which was waaaaaay bigger and open-plan with a ton of mobile racks of clothing everywhere, I told him he was to stay by my side. He shot off within seconds of walking into the shop, and would NOT do as he was told. I was constantly saying, "Come here!", or "Come here NOW!" or "Do as you're told!" in not-too-quiet a tone due to him not hearing me over the distance he'd run otherwise. I hate that! I hate being in a shop with parents doing that! I hate being the one doing it! He bounced around the place with a permanent massive grin on his face. He came to me sometimes, and sometimes not. In the end I just told him if he did not stay by my side, we would go home and NOT buy a hat for him (I couldn't see any children's hats in there anyway, by then). He did not like this so he came over and walked about 5 paces by my side, before suddenly sprinting off ahead of me again.
Soooo, I took his hand and said we were going home, and that was that.
And then. The Tantrum began. Oh how I long for the joyful easy days of the Terrible Twos! ;) Three has been much worse in so many ways. I think Terrible Twos is a myth. It ISN'T easy, but it's easier than three, in my experience so far!
The Tantrum was about the worst one that Arthur has thrown yet. Except that one over macaroni cheese. And he's twice that age now! He went weak at the knees, you know the one? He lay on his back on the floor, me still holding his hand, and switched his voice to "Amplified Whiney". He would not get up! I picked him up under the arms to carry him out of the shop, and he turned into a fireman's pole with arms up above his head. He's so big and heavy now, and his limbs are so long and boyish! It's hard to deal with physical tantrums out of the house. It has been ages (over a year??) since I had one to deal with like this, so it's not usual for Arthur really. But ohhh, I hauled his butt out of the shop with people goggling at us with open mouths (WHY do they have to do that?!) as they passed us going in. Once he was out the door, I stood him on the pavement and squatted down to talk to him on his level. I was NOT happy with him, and he heard about it!
He did listen but when I said we WERE going back to the car, he wailed anew about the fact that we were leaving without the new hat that we'd set out to buy. I knew I had to stick firm to what I'd said because, consistency people! But my heart sank because we were SUCH a long way from the car! We had walked right to the top of the horse-shoe shape and it really was a massive complex. We would have to walk back past all those shops and cars, in front of all those people, on a nice open-plan shopping complex! I knew he would be unlikely to behave better on the way, once he was that wound up. Urgh!
He screeched and yelled and cried and wailed, and had no ability to move below the waist, etc, and refused to stand up and walk. I somehow managed to stay calm and just wait holding his hand till he got the picture that I wasn't going anywhere and I wasn't backing down. I did not want to discipline him in public. I told him he could walk or be carried, but we were going back to the car one way or the other. People just STARED. Again, WHY do they have to do that?! Surely they know it does not help, and isn't very nice besides?! Not one sympathetic smile or look, nothing! Not even from women with kids! Just cold condemning stares. Tsk. It really didn't help me feel any better.
I carried Arthur a few yards and then thought better of it - it wasn't a nice mutually accepted carry! I just grasped him round his torso and walked, and he is so big! It wasn't easy.
About halfway back to the car, he notched up that tantrum to a force 5, and lay on the floor flinging his limbs about and SCREAMING angrily at me! Think nails on blackboards and distorted sounds of pneumatic drills too close to your ears. He was also sobbing and crying and had tooootally lost it (long ago!). Arthur really doesn't do this much at all - at home sometimes, but still not often to this degree! It was awful! People stopped in shop doorways to watch us pass, and stared from benches and cars. Urrrgh!
In the end I think I told him that I would discipline him when we got to the car if he did not get up and walk with me RIGHT NOW. He stayed flailing about and screaming on the floor, and I just got that surge of mama-strength (I know you guys know what I'm talking about, hehe!) and picked him up and put him under my right arm, and stomped off to the car with him like a plank (well, a writhing plank) under my arm - how thankful I am for child-bearing hips, hehe! That good old hip supported all his weight! With the mama strength also came the I-don't-care-what-anybody-thinks thing, which also helped looooads.
Back at the car (ours is big enough to stand inside and talk things out!), he did get disciplined (smacked, in case anyone thinks I'm being a bit vague with the use of the word "discipline"). Then we talked about it long and good. What reeeeeally helped me to let go of the whole thing, was when I talked to Arthur about forgiveness and what it means. When I could see he understood what I was talking about, I told him that this whole thing was forgotten, that I forgave him and I loved him, and I would not remember it again. Daddy would not be cross with him when we got home because Mummy has forgiven him, and now I won't be cross with him when I think about it any more. That was as freeing for ME as it was for Arthur, I think. I should put that part of our discipline process into practise more often. I sometimes forget.
Then I changed the subject and talked excitedly with him about his new T-shirts, and he was red-faced and a little sobby, but I could really see the relief in his face, and our journey home was happy and trauma-free, thankfully!
But I hope not to have to deal with too many more tantrums like that one again!
I was going to write about more stuff, but Neil went to the Christian Resources Exhibition today (that's why he was out), looking for job ideas and browsing seminars, and he came home with a bag full of "mystery" stuff that he's picked up as he went round the place. I am so nosey and really want to rifle through that bag! I forgot to ask him about the stuff in it before he went to bed, and I guess he got too side-tracked to show me. But I saw the corner of a magazine poking out of it, so I took a peek, and it's Above Rubies!!! I was so excited when I saw it! I don't know if he picked it up because he thought of me and knew I would love to read it, or if he just got handed it somewhere - I'll have to ask him. If he picked it up just for me, I just LOVE that man! I love him anyways though :) So, since I started this entry, I went and found the Above Rubies magazine and nowwwww it's embarrassingly late because I've read article after article and thoroughly enjoyed myself and completely lost track of the time! So I must stop and go to bed. But I will post photos asap. I have so many backing up! I took at least 20 today, and many to post before those.
Back soon! :)
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Christmas Eve! - 2008-12-24
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