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2005-05-21 - midnight previous entry next entry
And the winner is.....!!
And the winner is....
....BANANA!!!
I should have guessed he would like banana, what with all the lip smacking he'd given it a couple of months ago when I gave him little tastes on my fingertip! We didn't have any particular plans to feed banana to him yet, but Neil and Arthur were watching the FA Cup Final (snore) and I came in and sat down, eating a banana. Arthur seemed to really want my banana, so I broke off about an inch of it for him to hold, and rubbed the surface all over so that it would be gooey and flavoursome if he put it to his mouth. But he didn't like getting his hands messy at all (this seems to be an "Arthur" thing which we are noticing more and more!) so I squidged a bit on my finger and put it to his mouth to see if he wanted it. He seemed interested, and did lots of lip-smacking, etc, so I put the rest in a baby food pot and mashed it with a fork and squirted in some breast milk till it was a good consistency. I mixed it well, and then fed it to him with a spoon, on Neil's lap in the living room. Yesterday when I took him to the drop-in clinic to be weighed, the health visitor there said that maybe he would prefer to start solid foods in a more relaxed and fun environment. She said we could just try sitting him on our laps (prepared for mess!) and finger feeding him some tastes to get him started, and make it fun and light-hearted with no pressure. Arthur seemed far more interested in eating with it being more fun and relaxed. He let me post the spoon in, and munched on the banana, and then leaned forward eagerly for more! After a while he grabbed the spoon and tried to do it himself, but he gagged himself with it a lot, so we let him hold the spoon if we were holding it to feed him.
He ate the whole lot!!! He spat out any lumpy bits very efficiently (though there weren�t many) and swallowed the rest without difficulty, but banana did go everywhere, which was fun! I�m so glad I took photos. What a contrast they are to the pear, rice and carrot!! I still plan to give him carrot again soon, but this time pureed properly to a very smooth consistency. I don�t blame him for disliking it in the horrid lumpy state I gave it to him! I think he might like it when it�s presented to him properly. The banana was organic. I�m glad of that too. I want all his food to be organic, and hang the cost of it. Sooo I have a huge bag of organic carrots in the fridge, 3 organic pears and 5 organic bananas left in the fruit bowl. He has a choice!! But of course pear is yuck, so that one�s out. I don�t like pear either. Yucky woody-textured weird-tasting stuff. Sensible boy! ;)
I am soooo hungry. My tummy is scrunching and groaning. We�re having chicken and mushroom pasties. And pasta. And veg. Gaaahgghhh, my mouth is watering!! I get so hungry so quickly these days. I think it must be to do with this not-so-little boy�s appetite and how I make all his food from my own resources! I need fuel. Lots of fuel.
Talking of the not-so-littleness of my boy, would you believe he now weighs 20lbs 11oz?!!! That puts him at the 90th percentile!!! Yikes! Every time I get him weighed now, he has crept up the percentile chart. Every time. Will he ever stop?!! I can see him being at the 250th percentile by his first birthday, hehe. I wanted them to double check his length too, but I forgot to ask till I had already put him in his nappy and half his clothes, so they said they would check next time, since the nappy can affect how straight he would lie for his length to be measured. Especially big cloth nappies! But what a big boy! I felt so proud of course :) The health visitor was so lovely. I hadn�t met her before. She weighed him, congratulated him on his growth (!) and plotted his weight on the chart, and then said to me, �So he�s on solids then?� I said, �Um, no.� She said, �Oh. He�s formula fed?� Me: �Um, no.� Her: �Is Dad big?� Me: �Um, no.� She said I must be doing great with the breastfeeding if he is growing so well without the influence of genes or other food sources, since Neil and I are so petite!! *beam* You know I always love to be boosted over this. I felt great for my achievement :)
Well, I haven�t said yet how touched I was to read all your messages after my entry about Cameron. Thank you all soooo much. I am just so touched at your loving and sensitive responses, and they are just like getting a big hug over this issue. Which I needed. So thank you!!! You are all lovely friends. Jemma, I did think about bereavement counselling after Cam died, but it felt weird since he wasn�t actually mine. And then it got a bit better and a bit better still, so I figured it would be okay. So I haven�t really thought about it. Megan, I last saw Cameron�s mum and his littlest brother, Nathan (19 months old now � he was born the day before Cam�s funeral, can you believe) when they came to see Arthur in January I think. Actually I sent a card to Cam�s mum a couple of weeks ago, and she phoned me last week. We had a good chat, but we don�t seem to mention Cameron anymore. We talked about how her little boys are doing, and about Arthur and his sleep and various things. She said I should call her after we get back from France (must do that) so that we can arrange to meet up. She invited me to go to a local (to her) mother and baby group that she has just started taking Nathan to, but it happened to be on a day that I was already doing something � I can�t remember what�. Maybe it was travelling to France or something? Anyway, we need to reschedule. It is always nice to see her. But it always feels like somebody � the MAIN person � is missing. Cam always used to sit with us when we chatted, and he was always the main focus of our attention.
I felt today that I would like to go to the cemetery. I know it�s empty and I don�t relish the feelings that I will have there, but I feel like I need to go. It has been too long. Maybe I will find relief somehow in visiting his grave again? I used to find that sometimes when I went before. But I used to go a lot. Jeannie, thank you for the poem � I think I have seen it before. It�s heartbreakingly true, which somehow makes it hard to read but also helpful at the same time. Maybe I will take Arthur to the cemetery during the week? I sort of want to be there alone though. I took Arthur a few times since he was born, and when he was very new he was just all snuggly and asleep inside the sling on my front, so I felt like I was by myself. But now he is such a separate little person, very much �with� me rather than part of me now! I need to talk to him all the time when we�re out and about because he needs that kind of attention now. I would like the chance to go and just be silent and not have to point things out to Arthur or move or leave when he fusses after I�ve been still or quiet for too long. Also I would like to talk aloud to Cameron like I used to at his graveside. Pointless, I know, but something that has helped me in the past.
I would like to change the subject now. Bleh. But thank you so much for everyone�s kind words and support. xxx
Arthur is doing new things! He is up on his arms like he is doing a press-up, so that only his hips and legs remain in contact with the floor, and his arms are completely straight. He has discovered that when he does this, he can quite easily rotate his body around by side-stepping with his hands and thus pulling his body with his arms. The cutest thing happened yesterday! He was tired and I took him to bed for a nap and we lay tummy to tummy on our sides while I nursed him. He was feeding from the �uppermost� breast. He got all hyper and kept wanting to roll onto his back and flap his arms and legs (!!), so I just lay there and let him play for a while. It was really interesting to just stay very still and watch what he did. He rolled onto his back, and then flipped onto his tummy. Then he used his arms to pull his body around, pivoting on his hips, so that he faced down the bed instead of up towards the head. This took him about maybe 60 seconds, stopping along the way to look at things he could see from his new angle. He cooed and babbled for a while facing down the bed, then started to work his arms to bring himself back around a bit. When he was facing the opposite side of the bed to where I was lying, he suddenly stopped and threw a backwards glance at me over his shoulder. Then he smiled, and began working with his arms to bring himself facing up the bed again. As soon as he was facing the right way, he started to shuffle his whole body sideways, so that he moved across the bed towards me! It took him a little while, and quite a bit of effort, but he made it to my side. He got himself so that (still on his tummy) his head was level with my breast, and then twisted his head up to the side and opened his mouth to latch on!!! He couldn�t hold his head steady at that angle so it kept bobbing up and down and missing the breast, which was very sweet! He was very laid back about it all so I just watched his efforts for a while before I flipped him over to feed him. His aim got him latched on 3 times, and each time he gave two or three sucks before dipping off again. After that I turned him on his side and nursed him, and he fell asleep. I thought that was so cute, because it�s like he was off on his own little mission, and then suddenly he must have thought, �Mmmm, food!� and checked to see where I was, then brought himself to the breast and managed to latch on and suck, even from a very difficult angle!
I think he is going to be an acrobatic nursing toddler. Most toddlers are, or so I�ve read, but I�m absolutely sure Arthur will be terribly acrobatic and nurse from all sorts of odd positions. He�s starting to show me signs of it even this early! Twice in the last week he has been sitting on my lap facing me, and suddenly he buries his face in my chest, rooting away as he gets hungry. So I pull my top up, undo a bra flap and he just goes for it like a little bird pecking with its neck out! Sitting up! It�s starting to be so that if he can get his head level with my breast, no matter the position, then he will try to nurse. And not always because he is super hungry. He likes to snack too :) I like that. I like his snacks because they are usually quick and spontaneous when we were previously enjoying some playtime on my lap or something, and they always end after a minute or so with Arthur giving me a wide-mouthed beaming smile full of milk (which runs out of the corners of his mouth!). I think he likes that he can snack on Mummy milk on a whim. I can see me needing to teach him that it�s not okay to just lift Mummy�s shirt when he wants to nurse, especially in public! I read that this can be a common issue with breastfeeding toddlers, and I think because I am currently happy to let Arthur initiate feeds and snacks at any time in any place (and in any way), he will probably need to learn that rule at some point. But that�s okay :)
He is sitting so well now. His back is getting straighter as he sits these days, so I know he is improving. He still often chooses to flop backwards, but I know he can sit very well even when leaning at various angles, if he chooses to. I got some bubbles out yesterday for the first time, and sat him up on the bed. I blew them so that they went up above him and fell down right over him. He sat bolt upright with his head twisted up to the ceiling to watch the bubbles fall. He reached for them and looked soooo surprised when they vanished in an instant!! It was the cutest thing. He leaned out at all angles trying to reach ones that were falling nearby. He never wavered in his sitting position so I know he is getting really good at it now. He just doesn�t seem to be as interested in sitting as standing or rolling. If I pull him to a sitting position from lying down, he locks his hips and knees so that they won�t bend into a sitting position, and goes right up into a standing position with me just holding his hands, and boy does he beam and smile when he�s up! He loves to stand. He gasps and squeals and smiles when we tell him how he�s a clever boy or a strong boy! He�s so cute. I took some video footage of him watching the bubbles today, so maybe I will have a clip to show you soon. He watches them fall from his sitting position till he gets tired of that, and then he just flops back onto the cushion behind him (I�m much more careful now!) and watches them from there. He does little gasps if they pop near his face, because they make a teeny tiny poof of cold liquid as they pop, and that makes him gasp, hehe! He seems to love them. We are going to have bubbles every day :)
He is still teething quite badly, poor thing. The teething powder doesn�t seem to be as effective these last few days, and his cheeks keep being quite red and puffy at times. He is frantically biting hard on everything, and dragging anything he can find towards his mouth to bear down on with his gums. If he can�t find anything during a frantic sweep of the floor/bed/person holding him, he stuffs his whole hand in his mouth and bites down so hard that his fingers go pink and puffy :( We try to have a good teething ring handy all the time, or else give him our fingers and knuckles to chew on. But he still bites his fingers and hands a lot at the moment. Tonight he woke a short while after he went to bed, crying and sobbing and �oh-yoe-yoe�ing which I recognise as his way of showing that his gums are hurting him. He got very upset when Neil held him and calmed down the instant he was in my arms, which is another good indication that it�s his poor gums. We had just given him powder before bed, so we gave him Calpol. He seemed happier very quickly, but he woke a couple of hours later and cried when Neil rocked him. He settled quickly when I lay down next to him and nursed him, and then he went to sleep peacefully. I don�t know. He seems to be having a hard time of it at the moment with his poor gums. He is six and a half months old in 3 days. That�s how old I was when I got my first tooth. I hope his comes through soon. I�m sure it HAS to be soon. Surely? This month is going by so fast! He is almost closer to being 7 months old than 6! Just a few more days.
I was quite pleased because we walked to the clinic instead of driving there. It�s quite local but I usually drive anyway. This area is so yucky to walk in. Plus I am unfit with walking. But that�s just a good reason to do more of it! Anyway, it was POURING with rain, so I put a raincoat on and pulled the hood up, and put Arthur in his 3-wheeler with the big spacey-looking plastic bubble round it, and off we went! I LOVE the rain. I love walking in it. One time a few years ago, I went to the park in the middle of a torrential thunderstorm, waded into the ferns and thick foliage (NOT tall trees of course!) and took my shoes and socks off to walk a mile or more in the rain! It was so cool. Nobody else was there because of the rain. I love walking in the rain.
Anyway, on the way back from the clinic, the rain had stopped, and I took a detour to Homebase, where I purchased lightbulbs, a row of key hooks to hang our keys on instead of losing them all the time (tsk!), a 3-tier stainless steel steamer to healthily steam Arthur�s fruits and vegetables, and a large oval wicker-type laundry basket which has a cream linen lining that ties on the outside. I can�t describe it well but it�s nice. It�s to put Arthur�s toys in at last!!! So now we have a toy tub! It looks nice with our sophisticated adult furniture in the living room, but also gorgeous brimming with bright coloured toys! And tidy and neat. Which is the point.
We are still babyproofing. The entertainment unit is set up and looks great � much more clutter-free! Julie, I can�t believe your husband bought an entertainment unit for babyproofing purposes just the other day!!! Are we the SAME person?!!! Today I have been clearing and sorting all the fabrics off the pine changing station that I won on eBay when I was pregnant. We NEVER used it!! Not once. Oh except one time we bathed him in the bath that came with it. It�s just taking up space that we need for other things, and it is infinitely easier to change his nappy on the fleece blanket on the floor. It stops the wee going through to the carpet too, and it can be thrown in the wash as often as necessary. Softer and much more spacious than the plastic changing mat too, so we are putting that away as well. I had noooo idea of this kind of thing before we had Arthur! I just figured, have baby � need changing mat/station! But you don�t. So we are taking it apart and maybe I will sell it on eBay or something. Or maybe we�ll just stuff it in our overfilled loft space for another time. Then we need to move a wooden blanket box upstairs into its place, and fill it with my sewing supplies (yay!). Then we put a bedside table unit in the loft and put my chest of drawers in its place, and THEN (and only then!) there will finally be room at the foot of our bed for Arthur�s cot-bed. It arrived yesterday. It�s beeeautiful. And the little bed-ends for the junior bed are so cute!! *I* want to sleep in it!! Here are two (promotional, from Kiddicare where I got it) photos of it, as a cot and as a cot-bed:
I like his bed :) But I don�t like that I am running out of time to snuggle and nurse at night without him really having to move or wake. I feel sad that he will only ever really nurse in my arms before being �put down� to sleep. I know it�s okay to do that, but for ME and for Arthur, it just feels so�. against what feels natural and right for us. I don�t know. It just doesn�t feel right inside somehow. I can�t bear it if he hates it. I already do. I have been reading The Discipline Book by Dr. Sears, which I bought along with the rest of his parenting library when I was pregnant. I wondered about whether I should be doing anything in response to Arthur�s latest activities when he�s hyper and being held or lying next to me to nurse. He is so vigorous with his arms and legs now. He grabs handfuls of whatever he finds them on and scrunches vigorously! That hurts if it�s my neck or my nipple (owwwwww) or my hair when he pulls after the scrunching. He also likes to pat things, but lately his vigour means that he is more whacking than patting! At the moment I take his hand and remove it from whatever he is scrunching painfully (!), and tell him not to do that because it hurts Mummy. Or I say, �Be gentle with Mummy� or something like that. Obviously he has no concept of these things just yet, so I wondered if you are meant to do anything or not at this early stage. So that book is great. Discipline apparently starts from birth, and they call the first stage of discipline, building up a foundation of close attachment and trust with your child. I love that. Of course one of the things they recommend is co-sleeping for how it is natural and attachment-enhancing. That makes me wish I could just keep going with the co-sleeping. Because their philosophy on attachment parenting is absolutely the same as my own, and it�s exactly how I wanted to parent my children. I always planned to co-sleep with all my children till they are ready to move to their own beds, whether that takes months or years. I had envisaged co-sleeping with Arthur for years, Julie, rather than months, even if that meant more than one child in the bed at a time. Of course then we would need to lay like 3 mattresses together on the floor as our bed, but hey ho! Michelle, we soooo need to exchange numbers and advice/woes, etc, like you suggested! Must email you. Thanks for the supportive words about the co-sleeping thing :)
Anyway. I love his new beddie. But I hate that he has to start sleeping in it. Pfffthth.
Oh, my brain just fell out. My head is empty now and I can�t think of another word to write, so I think I will stop and go to bed. It�s midnight again (paused for dinner earlier). I am soooo dumb. Dumbular. Dumbacious. Dumbtasticulationary. Making up words is fun :) I�m going to bed. After I search on the carpet on my hands and knees for my brain. Night night.
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