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2007-09-14 - 3.50pm previous entry next entry
Newsy update on various things
Well, it has been FOR EVER since I updated, and most of that time I have been feeling sooooo desperate to update here, I can't describe it! Only, I never seem to find the time or energy, and my priority has been my pregnancy diary because I don't want to miss recording every stage of my new little one growing in my tummy! And sooooo much is happening, or has been newly occurring to my mind, etc. I have really NEEDED to write here a lot of times, but never been able to.
And now I'm not able to either! It's 2.30pm and Matthew is 1.5 hours into his nap, and Arthur has now had about an hour of Big Boy Quiet Time (not so quiet as it really ought to be!), so that pretty much gives me zero extra minutes to write anything here! I just wanted to at least SAY I want to update! And maybe list a few of the things I wanted to talk about, so that at least I don't forget when I finally do find time. Right now, I can't think of many of them! Tsk! But let's see...
1) We just feel like we have nooooooo idea what we're doing re. disciplining our children. I think we're hard on ourselves, and we are doing better than we think, but still. We aren't confident in ourselves and I feel like I'm not getting it right all the time. So:
2) We asked a couple at church to help us! I read a verse in the Bible about older women coming alongside younger women and teaching them how to love their husbands and their children, and keep house and raise kids, etc. Or something like that. Because they'd been there and done that. And I thought, "That's IT! That's exactly what we need!" There's a couple at church who we've known since I became a Christian nearly 12 years ago. They have four children - I'm sure I've mentioned them several times at least in my 6 years journalling here at Diaryland! When we first met them (the husband is one of the leaders at church), they were expecting #4 and their first three kids were aged 4, 2 and 14 months. Their kids are all 18 months apart in age, and they are the only family I know in real life with a bunch of kids close together. Scarily (!!), their children are all teenagers now, except for the youngest - and all at secondary school! Yikes!
So I asked if they would mind sharing with us how they disciplined their kids, what worked for them, what they learned, and what wise tips they might be able to pass on to us! I used to go round and help out with the kids a lot once baby #4 was born, so I watched their parenting in action with four children under 5, and I was sure to take it in very carefully and store it away for future reference, knowing that I wanted a large family too! So they seemed the perfect people to ask. They are also just completely LOVELY people, fun to spend time with, easy to chat to, honest, and always eager to help and encourage others.
They offered to have us round for dinner so we could chat properly, but we don't leave the boys with babysitters (well, we haven't done so yet anyway), so then they offered to bring round some pizza and wine! Yay! They came round last night - I have been looking forward to it for the WHOLE 2 weeks that it was planned! It was just the best evening. Our living room was the tidiest it has been since I was planning to give birth in it (!!) and we had my favourite pizza and wine (yes, I drink wine whilst pregnant and don't worry about it - I NEVER drink more than half a glass when NOT pregnant, and that's like once in a blue moon!).
Best of all, they were sooooo helpful. They seem to be right on our wavelength for what we are actually wanting to achieve, and agreeing pretty much across the board on methods and stuff, which was extra helpful to our discussion. It was light-hearted and encouraging, and I just feel so much relief that I'm not experiencing ANYTHING that this lady did not also go through with her kids, regarding her own feelings, issues with the kids themselves, and tiredness/coping, etc. They offered another discussion on another evening about finances if we ever want help, which sounds SO good to me, because -
3) Oh my gosh, are we ever in POO financially! I don't have time to go into anything about it, just that sentence will have to suffice. Pee-double-oh. Poo. My husband is just AWFUL at financial management. I have felt quite angry and let down by him over it, but I can't justify that because *I* haven't thought to keep an eye on things either - I'm no better than he is! And there's no point in getting a wedge in our relationship over finances - that will not be a good thing! So I have to let that go, and we need to move on together. I have just got a book that his hugely recommended online, which I'm about 1/4 of the way through so far, and I have high hopes that it will teach us pretty much everything we need to know about managing our finances and getting out of debt (we are in THOUSANDS of � of debt. Thoooousands.). I'll post the title of the book sometime but it's slipped my mind at this moment, and I took a break a moment ago to get the boys up. They're down here and starting to be restless with me updating so I need to finish this and continue another time (who knows when! Hopefully soon!).
Oh, but:
4) I'm still bleeding and it is starting to really suck. But oh well.
5) Neil's job still reeeeally sucks and we have no idea what he'll do or where to go. We're waiting on God still.
6) Matthew's practising running and is communicating in lots of detail now, though with not too many actual understandable words yet!
7) Both boys have colds right now. Matthew just sneezed, went to the box of hankies, pulled one out and brought it to me, waving it frantically and "asking" me to use it to blow his nose! Which I did. I wish Arthur was as compliant over nose-blowing. *sigh*
8) Arthur has lately had some tantrums that defy any tantrum ever seen in this house before, urrrrgh! I mean, I'm surprised our windows are still intact from the ear drum popping, distorting screaming.
9) But, he is being disciplined in a new way lately, and not liking it one bit. Which is a sure sign that it's discipline, the fact that he doesn't like it! It's finally a method I can stay calm doing, and one which helps me nip in the bud alllll the various behaviours I am not happy with him exhibiting lately. We also discipline Matthew in exactly the same way.
10) He's so lovely! He is now 34 months old! Just two months (less now) until his THIRD birthday! I can't believe it.
11) We are officially going to homeschool. That's one of the things I've been longing to write about here. Unless God says, "NO WAY!", we will definitely be homeschooling our children. I am praying about it all the time even though I feel like 99.9% sure about the decision, because I REALLY feel that God has called me to homeschool my kids. It actually feels like a Godly calling for me, personally. So I want to be praying about that so that if I'm wrong and it's NOT of God, then he'll show me that. So far I am just getting either silence or encouraging things when I pray about it (!!) so I really do believe (and thus can finally share it honestly) that God has called me to homeschool. That knowledge will help me greatly when I am at my wits end about how on EARTH I'll ever manage to do it, like when I have toddlers, a new baby and a child who is definitely of school age, needing to learn!
12) I know Arthur is only 2 still, but as of the first week of September, we are officially having "school" every week day! It's still basically what we're already doing - crafts, jigsaws, just playing together, etc. I wanted to gently introduce the concept of "school" as a special time between Arthur and Mummy, and I figured why not start now. Arthur LOVES it. Loves it to bits. He's so excited to do school. We always do school when Matthew goes for his morning nap. I'm not sure what we'll do when Matthew drops a nap (which he's kind of vaguely on the verge of doing these days). Maybe they'll both have quiet time during the morning and then Arthur and I will do school in the afternoon while Matthew has his afternoon nap? I'm not sure yet. I have got a TON of books from eBay about teaching and homeschooling, and in particular, activities for pre-schoolers.
13) I'm so EXCITED and relieved to declare 100% for sure that Arthur Will Not Be Going To Nursery! Now that he's nearly 3, I'm getting soooooo many people asking when he will start nursery, like with pressure, which has been stressing me. It's a stress to reply, "He's not going! We're going to homeschool!" because even though I'm confident that it's the right thing for our family, nooooobody else in the world (so it seems!) shares my opinion, espeically those with a special interest or attachment to my children! My parents and my brother are VERY excited and supportive though, which is a huge relief and very helpful. I am DREADING telling my grandparents. Dreading it.
Anyway, that's what we're doing. I have stuff ready to teach him phonics and the beginnings of reading, and also some number stuff. But I am not wanting to jump into that too early. He is bright and eager, so I'll follow his lead. Right now I'm adding in things like learning months of the year and days of the week, which he is picking up quickly. And counting games. He can count items up to 12 at the moment - actual counting, not reciting, and he can tell me at a glance how many items there are up to 3 of them, without putting his finger on each one to count. He knows we're in September, which came after August, and that it's October next, and then November, when it's Arsur's BIRTHDAY!! Then it's Christmaaaaas!! Hehe! We are also doing a few new things with school like nature walks where we make a book full of things we pick up, or try to collect certain things to take home, etc. It's all very lighthearted and easy going, and FUN, so Arthur is loving it, and I am too! It means I have to prepare before bed every night, as it NEVER works to wing it. Well, sometimes maybe, as it's still ever so simple, and we can just play dominoes for "school" when it comes to it. But anyway. That's some big news for me (and Arthur!) that I'm excited about.
Lastly - well, there's more but nooo time left to write about it! - I haven't wanted to write about this too early, but now that it has been nearly 2 weeks and I'm still going strong, I am excited to say that I'm FLYing again!!! I re-joined Flylady and I'm working on the Beginner Babysteps, and doing GREAT so far! Much better than I ever did before when I tried it and gave up.
We had a cleaner company come round to assess - a professional agency sent their "assessor" who does this all the time, and she walked in our kitchen and I heard her say, "Oh my God!" So there you are - I wish I could describe just HOW BAD the house really is. The living room is the least awful because that's where we live all day long with the boys. But the kitchen in particular is dreadful, and the main bedroom where Arthur and Neil sleep. Dreadful. I don't exaggerate! I feel like although I've been moaning about HOW BAD the house is in my diary, nobody has probably actually realised HOW BAD it really is! It's bad. The cleaning company say they can't clean it in the state it's in!!!! Haha! We have to declutter otherwise they can't GET TO the areas that need cleaning!!
So, Flylady. And it's a MAMMOTH task, believe me. But I am already starting on it and managing in baby steps, and I am starting to have real confidence that I can do it!!! We still might get cleaning help once the clutter is more manageable, given that I'll have a baby and not be up to cleaning as much, plus the hormones that tend to affect me for the first few months postpartum, etc. But we'll see. I can't believe I'm FLYing!!!!
Okay, that has to be it! Matthew didn't nap this morning so school is waiting to start :) We're going to the newsagents to buy a car magazine - the one with the MOST car pictures inside, and then cutting the pictures out for crafts and just for lining up and admiring, etc! :) Arthur's choice. And he's very excited, so I must go and do it with him!
All seems to be going swimmingly, but I don't want to leave a false impression - this morning was the first since Matthew was tiny that I was crying on the phone to Neil saying I couldn't do it, I couldn't possibly cope till the end of the day, etc! I am just SO. BONE. TIRED. today. I think I am pregnant tired, rather than just tired tired (if that makes sense) but I am having problems with pregnancy insomnia this week, and Matthew has been wakeful with his cold so I'm not getting much sleep. I'm just exhausted. I feel tearful with exhaustion today, and by 9.30am I was on the phone to Neil, completely incapable of managing for another minute, let alone another 9.5 hours till he got home! But it's going okay now. I've managed the worst hump of the day!
Oh! Matthew is 15 months old today!!! And he slept THROUGH THE NIGHT twice running this week (first time ever!) - so first time he slept through the night, for the record, was at 14 months and 4 weeks old. He didn't last night though, as he was too coldy and bothered. The previous two nights he slept 8pm to 6am (6.30am on the second day) - I couldn't believe it! And I don't know why either, but my milk is ALL GONE this week suddenly. It's rather a shame I was so troubled in my own sleep those two nights! Tsk! But thank the Lord it's weekend now. I'm so relieved! May it feel like it is lasting FOUR days rather than two. I've been in the hospital twice this week with bleeding (and am bleeding again today so probably should be back there, but no help with the kids, etc, so I'm not going in), and that means Neil has had to take 2 days off work that they're not too happy about. We have NOBODY else to call on, so if I have to go in then he has no choice, whatever work are going to say about it. With the boys all coldy, G & G can't help us as they can't risk getting poorly.
Okay, MUST go, snack time has finished and boys ready to go out! Will try to update v. soon with photos.
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