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2005-09-27 - 3.38pm previous entry next entry
Night weaning :(
Ohhh I am so behind with Arthur's news!!! I hope he naps well this afternoon because this is the only chance I'll get!
Thank you for all the messages and notes about my big news!!! I still can't quite believe I am expecting another baby and that Arthur will be a big brother! I think he will be a wonderful big brother. He is so interested in little babies, has no problem seeing me or Neil holding them, and instinctively seems to want to touch and kiss them gently. He has the kind of nature that will make him a wonderful big brother too. We thought that right from when he was tiny! I plan to stay as attached as I can to Arthur during my pregnancy and afterwards, because I'm desperately hoping he doesn't have any jealousy issues. Or at least nothing major. I was insanely jealous of my little brother, and it seemed to twist me up inside for my entire childhood. Even my teens. It only eased off when we both left home in adulthood. That's so sad, and I remember a lot of times being quite miserable and angry because of it as a child, so I desperately don't want that for Arthur. I will do what ever I can to help him with the transition. I would move heaven and earth if I could, for my lovely boy.
One thing we have decided to do right away (which totally contradicts the above paragraph, tsk!) is to begin night weaning :( As you know, I have already been too exhausted with Arthur's frequent night-wakings for many months, but now it has reached a new level. Now that I am pregnant, I am just soooo tired, already. I know I'm only JUST pregnant, but I figure if morning sickness is going to kick in like it did last time (just before 6 weeks) then I had better improve my sleep before then! When I am tired, nausea is soooo much worse. I know I would feel like being sick every time I woke to nurse him in the night. I don't want that!
I know he does not need my milk for nutrition at night. He wants it for comfort, and that has been fine. I wish it still WAS fine, but I need my sleep. It will benefit Arthur too, because he will sleep longer and deeper and be more refreshed hopefully. And obviously Neil too.
We talked a lot about how to go about it. We had tried lying with him and letting him cry and stroking his back, but that just seemed to mean a lot of CRYING and not much improvement in his sleep patterns. We also never tried that at night, when he is way more sensitive and easily upset when the breast isn't right there for him.
I read a lot about the different methods of gentle night-weaning. I won't entertain the direct cold-turkey cry-it-out. But there appear to be quite a few other methods that are more gentle. In the end I decided on a mix of a few different methods, because I thought it would suit us best.
A method I liked was to take a window in the night, say 11pm to 6am, and offer no nursing during that time, but comfort the baby back to sleep in other ways. Eventually they should stop waking if they are not getting the breast. I liked that, but I didn't like the cold-turkeyness of a whole 7-hour block from the start. I also didn't like that it would mean a lot of upset crying, despite the comforting back-rubs, etc. I read another method that suggested offering the baby water from a cup every time they wake, and of course since it's not water they're interested in, they eventually stop waking. Our health visitor suggested having Neil settle Arthur back to sleep, with me out of the room, so that he didn't even see the boobie-woman there (!!) to torture him further!
In the end I have decided on taking a smaller window to start with, and for Neil to settle Arthur back down with me not there, but to rock him to sleep if he is upset. Neil was involved in this by the way! He didn't just hear it from me and comply! ;) He is so wonderful taking on so much to help Arthur learn to sleep so I can get some myself.
Another thing we decided on was that the first thing Neil does when Arthur wakes is offer him a BOTTLE of water. Arthur has never had a bottle of anything offered to him before in his whole life! I know he is at an age where normally it would be a good idea to start weaning a baby OFF a bottle and onto a cup, but I don't feel that Arthur is at any risk of developing an attachment to a bottle. I still nurse him throughout the evening if he wakes, at bedtime, at 6am, for naps, and after every meal. Also he usually has a playtime with me on the floor for an hourish in the afternoon where I double as a snack bar (!), making the breast available for him to snack between activities :) I like that. So he has a LOT of milk, and plenty of snuggly nursing time still. I can't imagine him thinking much of a bottle in comparison!
I wanted it to be more soothing than a cup at night, and it's something that Neil can offer him cuddled in his arms. It has a soft teat which leaks fluid if he plays with it or sucks it. Better than a cup for being of comfort to a little one who is missing his night milkies from his mama.
Sooo we started on Saturday night. We chose a window of midnight to 3am. I nursed Arthur just before midnight I think, and then he woke at 2.20am. I heard Neil do all sorts of things to comfort him. He rocked him, and patted and rubbed his back. He offered him the bottle of water. Amazingly, Arthur was soothed by the bottle, although he didn't drink from it. Neil said he just bit the teat and played with it a bit in his mouth. He never got hysterical or cried so much that he sobbed, which I am so relieved about. But it was the bottle that seemed to prevent that. Every time he sounded like he was getting upset, Neil offered him the bottle again and he calmed down for a while. I watched the clock in the spare room, and Arthur took a whole hour to go back to sleep. Then he didn't wake again till 6am on the dot! After I nursed him, he went back to sleep till nearly 7, which is good because then he made up that hour.
The second night, I nursed him at 11.30pm when he woke, and he didn't wake again till 3am. I wondered about going in since it was the end of the window, but I heard Neil offer him the bottle, and I kid you not, the boy was asleep again without any fuss in FIVE MINUTES!!! He didn't wake again till 6am, and had a little more sleep after I nursed him!! Yay!
Last night he was way more wakeful, and in the evening too, when I was nursing him on demand. I think he is teething though. He just seemed restless. But since the previous night went well, we decided to extend the window to midnight-6am. I nursed him at 10pm and then 11pm. Then he woke at 1.30am and settled in maybe 5 or 10 minutes. He woke again at 3, 4 and 6am, ugh! Neil offered him the bottle and rubbed his back each time - I don't think he even needed to rock him - and he fell back to sleep within maybe 5 minutes or so each time. So it is definitely going better, but I think it was a rough night for Neil with all those wakings.
I am just so glad it is working without him being terribly upset. Even if he did get terribly upset, I think we would have to break our hearts and persevere. I simply have to get more rest now that I'm pregnant. I always knew that would have to happen once I was expecting again, but I guess I had kind of hoped it wouldn't need doing, or that it would somehow happen naturally before then.
Once he is sleeping through the midnight-6am window, we will phase out the midnight-ish feed :( I'm so sad to lose each and every nursing session, even though I am so tired from 10 months of it, and soooo longing for some longer stretches of sleep.
Oh he's waking. I'll see if I can get him to go back to sleep!
Nope, he's awake! Oh well, at least I got to write about his sleep changes.
Did I mention last time that we went to the baby clinic to have Arthur weighed and measured? I can't remember. Anyway he is 23lbs, 13oz and measures 76cm long (30 inches). That puts him at the 75th centile for weight and somewhere around the 85th for height. My boy must be getting a touch more lean with all his crawling and walking! He has only grown 1cm since his last check though, but he can reach a good couple of inches higher than before, so I think his limbs are really growing. His chub rolls on his arms (I love those!) are spacing out more. His arms and legs look longer to us, in proportion to the rest of him. My baby is gearing up to become a TODDLER!!! Yikes!
Let's see, what else can I add briefly before Arthur gets bored of the few toys he is playing with on the floor here? Ohhh he has been constipated for the first time recently :( Poor Arthur. He started to do a lot of straining, for like 15 or 20 minutes at a time (!!!) and then I'd change his nappy and there would hardly be anything in it. That happened twice in one day, and then later on he was standing against the sofa doing it again, when suddenly he looked at me like he was terrified, and started to cry this horrible high-pitched scared cry that sounded just like he was in pain somewhere. Neil heard it too and came running. I knew it had to be to do with the poo, so I held him and reassured him, but he seemed to be more and more in pain all the time. He sweated and shook :( Poor poor Arthur!
So we took his nappy off and he had a big ole poo stuck there. He was so frightened and distressed that we got some oil and um, applied it, and eased the thing out. Ahhh the things you do for your precious little ones!! ;) He calmed down pretty quickly once it was out, but he was bleeding pretty badly :( We went out and bought prunes, but he HATES them. Hates them. I think he ate maybe 2 tiny spoonfuls of them mixed in with his favourite (avacado and banana) though. We offered him a little more water than usual too. Next day he had THREE stuck-poo incidents, which involved oil and cuddles, but he didn't bleed and none of them were as bad. Neil offered him weetabix for breakfast, and we gave him a tea of just fruit. After that his poo was back to normal, phew!! Poor Arthur.
So I guess those are the two main bits of news from Arthur's point of view! Poo and sleep ;)
He's saying "mamum" all the time, and waving a lot. He claps constantly and seems very pleased with himself over it! He currently stands alone quite frequently for maybe 10 seconds, but the difference is that now he knows about it and seems to want to. Okay he has cruised right out of the doorway and off somewhere so I'm going to find him!!
I have a ton more to write about though. I'll try to get back here later, but I also need to update my pregnancy diary. Hopefully I'll be awake enough this evening after Arthur is asleep, to do both!
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