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2006-04-02 - 7.59pm previous entry next entry
Urrrrrrrgh :(
Everything is going wrong :(
Neil was meant to leave yesterday (Saturday) to be with his family for a week, but at the last minute we decided that Arthur and I SHOULD be at the funeral if we could possibly manage it. So we sorted out flying up (just me and Arthur) on Wednesday, the day before the funeral, and then coming back in the car with Neil on Friday night. Neil couldn't leave yesterday because he got a bad headache and couldn't drive :( So anyway we had it all planned out and he was leaving today instead.
Arthur got sick. That DARNED Playgroup once AGAIN. That's five out of the six times he's been, that he's come back with a cold or some virus. Urgh. I'm so glad there's a break for Easter now. Even though he enjoys it, and it's good for his immune system, blah blah. It's SO not a good time right now.
Also he hasn't been this ill before, I don't think. I think it's just a very bad cold starting, so nothing to actually worry about, but he's so poorly. He hasn't ever had a fever before, and this morning when he woke around 5am I thought he felt warm to me, and was breathing faster than usual too. So when he stirred again at 6am we took his temperature, and it was just ever so slightly raised. He was coughing in the night too, but nothing else. This morning after he got up, his nose and eyes just started streaming, and I honestly have never heard a person sneeze so many times as Arthur has today. His little temperature became a real fever and doesn't want to come down with Calpol. It's not enormous, but it's over 100 (nearly 38). He hasn't been able to nap for more than 10 minutes at a time, though he's exhausted all the time. His nose isn't congested yet, but something is bothering him to keep him from sleeping properly.
He cooled down a little this afternoon when I opened his sleepsuit front and gave him a little bowl of ice-cream :) He didn't want breakfast but has eaten really well other than that, and he will not take much of anything to drink, which is frustrating, as I know he needs fluids right now.
He just feels so hot, and I feel extra scared given that it's the first time I have been a parent to a child with a fever-while-poorly and I'm on my own. He really isn't himself at all, but he is trying to be. He picks up the toys he usually plays with, but then puts them down or gets frustrated over something-I-can't-figure-out. Poor lovey boy. I just put him to bed because he fell asleep slumped over on the sofa watching the CBeebies bedtime hour - soooooo unlike Arthur, and so far he has slept 10 minutes, constantly making whimpering sounds as though he's about to wake but he never does. I haven't covered him up, just dressed him in a footless sleepsuit for now. I wish I had someone with me :( I am nervous about the rest of the evening (peak fever time) and the night.
Okay but that's just part one of how everything is going wrong. I thought the fact that I got only 2 hours sleep last night was bad enough until everything else unfolded today!
Neil phoned me around lunchtime from his mobile to say he had crashed the car on the M1. He ran into the back of a BMW and he feels so terrible because he says it's all his fault and he looked down for a second and he should never never never have done it. Poor Neil. He has had so much on his plate. I don't want him to beat himself up too much over this. Anyway, the BMW is slightly damaged. Our car is buckled up at the front and completely undrivable. Neil is fine - thank you God! I had this horrible thought for a moment that we could so easily lose him and be on our own forever.
Arthur's awake and coughing. Back in a bit.
Okay I gave him another dose of Calpol and stroked his poor hot head with my cool hands till he was asleep again. Poor baby love.
So Neil is okay, but the car is not. Neil said it could even be a write-off :( Thankfully we have full insurance but how we'll afford the premiums as a result of this, I do not know. And it's our only car. We neeeed a car! Neil was stranded halfway up the country, and the RAC couldn't take him all the way up to North Yorkshire, so his brother drove all the way to get him and back again. I hope he's okay and the rest of their journey is safe.
Oops, the phone rang and it was Neil! He's there safely - phew! I need to find some car insurance details tonight for him, but otherwise he's trying not to think about it too much. The car has been towed to somewhere or other in the middle of the country, and I am not sure what happens next. I feel so stuck here and like Neil is so stuck there, with no way for him to get to us or us to him if there was an emergency :( I hope it's all sorted in time for him to get home again at the end of the week. Anyway I'm so glad he's there and he's safe. He's glad to be there with his family, which is good.
Arthur woke during the phonecall but he resettled quickly with me stroking his head again. I think he might cool down okay actually, with the covers off and the Calpol doing something or other, if it works for him. I'll check him very frequently this evening and cover him if it gets necessary. I just want him to get better :( I hate my baby boy being so poorly.
During the various phone calls from Neil about the car crisis, we had a poo crisis here. Arthur did the most enormous mushy poo-poo and thonked both heels in it when I went to take his nappy off. I kid you not, his feet were completely brown up to his calves. Ew. Then he grabbed his feet with both hands. Yup. My reaction was so freaky-outy, just instinctively I guess, that poor Arthur got scared and cried and cried :( I never scared him with a strong reaction before, and I feel so bad for it because he was so poorly and got so scared and upset :( It took me ages to calm him because I couldn't really pick him up with poo on his hands and feet (and bum!). I had to clean him off as best I could and then dump him in the sink to soap him down with baby soap! Then I put him to bed and cleaned the poo off the carpet (between phone calls from Neil at the roadside). Arthur woke several times during the process too. Urgh.
HOWEVER! I have managed the day. Now I just need to manage the evening and the night, and NOT catch what Arthur has.
When I phoned my mum for some advice earlier, she said my dad isn't well. He has no voice and feels terrible and exhausted, and he is going to the doctor tomorrow. If it's something viral then they can't really risk Granny catching it when they stay with her, so they would have to cancel their trip, and thus the help I desperately needed during the week. I absolutely don't want them to come if one or both of them is ill. I also already feel worried that if they DO come, they'll catch the horrid thing that Arthur has, and I don't really want them to have to do that either. But I just want to cry when I think of getting to the next weekend without any human contact, any help, any car, any food (as of Wednesday, that's when I've figured out I will have run out of meals for me to eat in the evenings!). Yeurgh. Nothing can be done though. Neil has to be where he is. My parents can't be here if they are ill. Arthur can't help being ill. I just hope and pray I stay healthy. That would just top it all!
Arthur is awake again.
Poor lovey :( That's three times in 40 minutes. He pretty much sleeps for 10 minutes at a time, just like during his very broken naps today. He goes back off with me stroking his forehead. Which still feels hot. Hmmm.
Anyway. I am not sure what to do about anything. Not that there is anything to be done in any case. I hope nothing else goes wrong. I feel anxious about everything tonight.
Thank you all so much for the messages and notes, and to Lois for the email. You are all lovely friends! I really appreciate your support. xxx I'll update again soon, and hopefully tomorrow will be better and Arthur won't get worse overnight. Please pray!
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