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2008-05-07 - 12.13am previous entry next entry
A Christian in debt (and a few boy quotes!)
Deborah, thanks for your comment. I did not take it as an attack, don�t worry! :) I�m grateful for you putting your point of view across about debt, because I was sort of asking that question (are we acting out of line with God�s Word?) last entry.
As far as our debt and being Christians goes, we are taking it seriously. Now, it probably doesn�t look like we�re taking it seriously ENOUGH, given that Neil is not stacking shelves as I type this at 11pm. But we are not disregarding it, and we know it is something that God would have us fix because it�s not how it should be. We know our financial situation is NOT right before God. He knows it too, because we are constantly talking with him about it. God also knows our willing hearts, and our genuine remorse at having got ourselves into this situation. We have a wonderful book (�How to debt-proof your marriage� by Mary Hunt � it�s a Christian book, as in, referring to God a lot and our responsibility in terms of what the Bible says) which we bought last year. It contains basically everything we need to get out of debt � well, our debt repayment plan and financial management plan is coming from that book. We can�t put it into practise without an income, so we haven�t been able to yet. We did not expect to be waiting 6 months before starting to put it into practise though! Neil is going to attend a Christian seminar on debt and financial management this month (hopefully) � one of our friends at church has a free ticket to a big exhibition with lots of great seminars, and Neil is going to the exhibition just to attend that seminar.
We have been considering selling our home to repay all our debts in one sweep. Actually, we�ve been planning to do that for a year at least � to factor our debt into the price we can pay for our next home and thus do away with it. It means we can�t afford a THING other than a flat, so we�ve had to consider moving way out of London to somewhere cheaper. We WILL repay our debt as soon as we can, preferably in a big lump, and then put our debt prevention plan into action so we don�t get into that place ever again. Right now we�re wondering about selling and then renting (to repay the debt, and have a big lump of money in the bank to gain interest for a while. The housing market looks primed to drop like a stone, so the sooner we can sell, the better. Then (HOPEFULLY!) buy again in a while when prices are cheaper. Or something. BUT yet again, we can�t do that without an income.
The income we need to do these things is a good one, I mean, a normal wage like Neil was earning before, rather than the pittance that is paid to shelf-stackers or part-time shop assistants! Without it we can�t afford to pay rent on a home big enough for our family. We also can�t get a mortgage if we decide not to rent, without a good wage.
We have really weighed up the whole idea of Neil just getting SOME money, no matter how little, to help us and to help our debt situation. I think God would have us repay our debt as soon as we can. I know any little funds coming in would help prevent us getting further into debt, BUT my goodness, our debt is so huge, and our outgoings big enough also, that a tiny temporary income will barely dent our outgoings, let alone cover them and allow us to then start repaying our debt! But I suppose any that he DOES earn will be money that we�re not adding to the debt problem � there�s that theory that every little bit counts and is better than nothing. Which is true, of course!
We had a bigger picture to look at, though. We wanted to consider the needs of our family as well. Neil�s first 3 months off work was the last trimester of my pregnancy. I remember within a week or two of him being out of work, I was having to go in to hospital a couple of times to be monitored for shortness of breath and a racing pulse (ALL the time, even resting!), and they were concerned about a possible pulmonary embolism (but really it was just me being pregnant � I seem to be breathless and �racey� from fairly early on!). And Neil said to me how it brought it clear to him how valuable it was right now for him to be out of work, for our family�s sake, for my sake, for the sake of my health while pregnant, etc. We saw the rest of his time out of work in a similar light. I went and had a baby 5 weeks early, and then of course we had the difficult adjustment that is Adding A New Family Member, and we both praise God continually for how thankful we are that he has allowed Neil to be around all the time for so long around that event. It has been good for all of us, not just �nice�, but having a massive impact on how each of the four of us adjusted to Nathan�s arrival. The boys had plenty of attention during their adjustment, Neil got to spend time with his children (and bond with Nathan!), and the benefits for me don�t even need explaining! During that time we often talked and weighed up the benefits of Neil getting a tiny bit of money from a job that would take him out of the home for many hours each day, against the huge benefits we were getting as a family from his presence at home right now. We prayed about it also. During the whole time he has actively continued searching for jobs, and interviewing for some as well. I think it would be a different thing altogether if we were this much in debt and just determined to take a �time out� for 6 months for our own benefit, refusing to look for jobs till that time was up or something! Neil�s job searching has always been prayerfully considered and we pray about it frequently.
Thanks for the link to the article on what the Bible says about debt. Unfortunately it didn�t work, but I went to the homepage and searched for it there. I think it must have been this article. I have to say, I found it really rather harsh! By halfway through it, I was having to focus on keeping an open mind, as I really wanted to read it receptively and give an honest opinion on it! There were 12 points in the closing summary, and in all honesty, I had to stop reading after point 10. It�s not that I didn�t agree with it (though I didn�t agree with all of it), but it was so HARSH and judgementally put. And nowhere in the whole thing did I catch even a glimpse of God�s grace. Which always is a huge alarm bell for me. Once point 10 basically implied that I should be excluded from church for not repaying my debt, I was so offended that I stopped reading it! Where�s God�s grace in that?! Even if I�ve misinterpreted the writing and it�s not about ME, I am still angered by that point because I so strongly disagree that anyone should be excluded from their church because of a struggle in their personal life (even a huge-o SIN in their personal life). The church should reflect Christ and be merciful and overflowing with compassion and grace, and reach out to meet that afflicted person�s needs. Point 10 does NOT reflect the heart of God. I would go so far as to say it goes AGAINST the heart of God. Which bugs me.
I was interested to read it as far as I did though! I did some more research online and read the Bible to find the referenced verses, etc. An article that is basically in line with my beliefs on the matter is this one, if you are interested. Both articles are based on the same Bible verse, funnily enough � Romans 13:8 �Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.� I agree with it in that I personally do not believe that it is a SIN to be in debt. The context makes that variable, but yeah, the article pretty much explains how I view it.
I realise that by posting a diary entry that ONLY talks about something controversial (like religious opinion!) I am basically asking for a debate to be opened, and I hate debates so very much! So I�m really hoping that it will not lead to one! I just wanted to respond to Deborah�s question and got a bit long-winded about it (me?! Long-winded?! Never! ;) )
So to attempt to dispel any debatey feelings stirred up in anyone reading this (and to awaken anyone who has fallen asleep from boredom at the subject matter thus far, since there are likely many who would be bored by it!), I will close with a few recent random quotes from my boys (all four of them!):
Arthur: (Neil walking around in just shorts) �Daddy, are you getting breasties?�
Neil: (whilst I wet my own shorts) �No!�
Arthur: �Well.... I think you might be.... You might need to get a bra like Mummy�s soon...�
Neil: (after sitting at the computer in a hot room for a while, then seeing his flushed face in the mirror � in all seriousness folks, he really meant this!) �It could be radiation burns from the computer!�
Matthew says �cwang� for �thank you�. It�s the sweetest thing! He holds the thing he�s been given high in the air as he walks away with it, and cries out cheerfully, �Cwaaaang!� as he goes :) Today he and Arthur were playing cars and Matthew did not want to share the game. He was being super grumpy and screeching and flinging himself dramatically onto the sofa, etc. Arthur came and gave him a car, and I said �Oh wasn�t that nice of Arthur to give you a car � thank you, Arthur! Can you say thank you to Arthur for the car, Matthew?� Matthew sat in a hunched over sulk with the grumpiest expression on his face. He grumpily took the car from Arthur, and after a pause he muttered �Cwang� in a deep grumpy voice, hehe! I know that�s not FUNNY because yeah we need to work on that or something, but it really tickled me at the time! He was so adolescent for a 22-month-old, hehe!
Nathan: �How doin�?� hehehe! ;) I said, �I�m fine thank you! How are you?!� and he gave me the most enormous radiant smile! (besotted with that tiny boy at the moment, seriously)
I was writing a �to do� list the other day. Arthur saw me and asked about it, and then said he would make his own �to do� list. He stood across the room and spoke his list aloud, eyes raised up with head cocked to one side in thoughtful consideration, fingers ready to be �checked off� as he thought of things. His list was as follows:
�Have breakfast.... Go out for a waaalk.... (the drawn out word sounds are how he said them as he made his thoughtful expression, already thinking of the next thing for his list).... Have luuunnnch.... Play with cars.... Be naughtyyyy.... Be disciplined.... Watch Brum.... And have family meal! There�s my list!� hehe! :) He often says the thing he�s being disciplined for was �on his list to do today�, which slightly unnerves me! Surely he�s not actually actively planning his monkeyness in advance, to make sure it gets done that day?!?! Yikes!
Okay, late, must go to bed! Will be back soon with photos! :) Thanks so much for all the comments last entry, I really did appreciate them all!
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