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2006-02-05 - 10.44pm previous entry next entry

New shoes for Arthur, church, and new haircut photos!

Thank you for the lovely messages about Paddy. I feel okay about him at the moment. I think the next time we visit my parents, even if it's AGES away, it will really make me sad that he isn't there :( But I am doing okay. My parents are still so sad, but everything will be okay in the end.

I have had lots of requests for new photos of Arthur - especially for his new haircut! So here are three that I took a couple of days ago :)

I love the first one - he looks so relaxed and also so grown-up to me somehow! The second one is just to show you my job on the back of his hair - it's a bit short!! But neat enough :) Taken during a moment of mischief as you can see! ;) Otherwise I can't see a LOT of difference in his hair, because I asked them not to make it too short. They cut very little off the top and front, it was mostly the sides really. And the job I did on the back. He had poor teethy red cheeks again in the last photo (not sure what that expression means, as I don't think I've seen him do that before!).

He is teething at the moment, but it's very "vague" teething, and very on-and-off also. He still only has two little corners of one molar poking through, so it's going to take AGES for the whole darn thing to come through I think, which looks like it will = lots of teething symptoms dragged over a long space of time, poo! No sign of the other top molar yet, but the gum around it is still very swollen. Poor boy!

Arthur is starting to say thank you!!!! It doesn't sound anything like the actual words, but I absolutely recognise it, as he says the same thing every single time he copies me saying thank you, and sometimes he is now saying it when I give him something, especially if we are playing a give and take game passing something back and forth and I say thank you each time he gives the thing to me. He says it when I give it to him. It sounds like the "ang" part of "anger", sort of like "anck" but with great enthusiasm so I really should write it with lots of exclamation marks after it!! :)

Arthur is constantly desperate to see/play with the iron! Even when he's upstairs he will suddenly start saying, "Un! Un! Un!" in urgent tones, and try to get downstairs! He is only happy when we take him right to the iron. I ordered him this iron and ironing board from the Early Learning Centre yesterday. It's coming out of my Christmas money from my parents. I can't think of any way I'd rather spend it right now :) I know Arthur is just going to light up when he sees his very own iron and ironing board and that has got to be worth way more than anything that I could buy for myself! He always loves playing with them soooo much at Playgroup, and he found a plastic iron at church creche today and ironed the carpet with great delight! So I can't wait for it to arrive. They were constantly out of stock at my local branch so I gave up and ordered it online.

I meant to say last entry - Arthur is so keen on waving things goodbye these days! He waves at EVERYTHING! He really understands now when someone is going, or if something is all done. He waves if I go upstairs to use the toilet, or if Neil even shows signs of heading towards the porch or puts his shoes on, Arthur waves! He waves at anyone who says bye bye to him, or even if he hears the word "bye" in anyone's conversation! There are a couple of really cute examples of his waving that I LOVE - when I finish nursing him and do my bra back up, he waves bye-bye at my breasts, hehe! I love that, it's so cute! Also he has taken to watching the bath water go down the plug hole after his nightly bath, every day now. He sits on my lap wrapped in a towel and peers eagerly over the edge of the bath, absolutely silent and transfixed for several minutes, watching the bath water go down the plug hole. He waits till the verrrry last trickle is disappearing and then he raises his little arm up in the air and waves and waves at the water till every last drop is gone. My cutie boy :) He waves at his toys as we put them away, and his empty bowl when I take it from him after he has finished his lunch. I just love him so much! He makes me want to squeeeeeeeze him all the time!

Matthew is whamming me with his hands really hard right now! It's sort of sharp and hurty, but I love it :) I think it is morse code for "get me some toffee ice-cream!" Or something similar ;)

Ohhh today we did some "proper" discipline on Arthur for the first time. He is getting kind of difficult at times lately. I mean, the usual thing where he does 10 things in a row that he KNOWS I have always told him not to do, or just race-walks about squealing in the most shrill wails I ever heard, for AGES without stopping. Or going deadweight and floppy when I try to pick him up if he is doing something he shouldn't be doing, that kind of thing! He climbs on EVERYTHING, at all times. If I take him down from one place, he does his almost-run to the next place and instantly flings his leg up onto it to climb up, with a big mischievous grin on his face! This can go on and on and on and on and on. And on.

Today he has been ultra hyper, and he wouldn't even take his nap - making it the first day in his life with no nap at all! Well, he fell asleep for the last 60 seconds of the car journey home from church, but then we woke him up and gave him lunch. After that we let him digest for a while, and then our new tandem pushchair was delivered (yay!!!) and THEN it was like 3pm and getting way too late for him. I think he just went beyond tiredness and got too wired. Anyway, so he has done all these things and more today. But when we tried to settle him for his nap he was kind of naughty.

Lately he has been doing this a bit more actually. Sometimes when I am nursing him in bed to get him sleepy (as part of his naptime or bedtime routine), he flings his upper arm (we lie on our sides, tummy to tummy) about and smacks me with it. Once he has done it by accident a couple of times, he seems to TRY to do it, harder and harder till he is absolutely walloping me in the head and chest, etc. Which, of course, is not on. So I tell him not to do that, and that it hurts Mummy, all while he is still nursing. He stops doing it for like 3 seconds and then starts again. So I tell him the same as before, but add that I will stop nursing him if he doesn't stop hitting Mummy. When he does it again, I end the nursing session, and he either gets upset and I pat him till he's calm and goes to sleep instead, or lately he sometimes retaliates a little. He will grab a handful of any part of me he can get, and scrunch really hard, which reeeeally hurts. He has started doing this to Neil as well sometimes, if Neil is being firm with him over something. So that's not good. We always react sternly but never really know what best to do.

Today at his nap time he did this a couple of times and then when I moved away from him and Neil put him down on the bed, he did it to Neil as well. So we decided it was time for the next stage of discipline, that he is old enough now (we think! It's so hard to be sure that what you're doing is right when you've never done it before!). We set up the travel cot (the only thing that will contain him, and he will NEVER use it for sleep so it doesn't really matter that we're using it for discipline), and put him in it, explained why we were putting him there, and both of us left him there for a time-out. So that is Arthur's first time-out! I am happy to use the time-out method, as we really don't ever want to use a physical contact method of discipline. It just doesn't seem gentle enough to be right for our kids somehow. It doesn't feel "right" in the same way that CIO didn't feel "right" for us. I was smacked (hard!) until the age of 10, and got it a LOT, as I played up a lot. Neil got the wooden spoon as a child, on the bottom when he was little, and on the hand after that. I never want to use an object to hit my child with, and I never want to hit my child in any case, but especially NOT with an object.

Anyway so we're happy with time-outs. I just hope they are a successful method for us! I heard they work really well if you are consistent, but I guess consistency is the magic ingredient in any type of discipline. So we left Arthur in the darkened bedroom in the travel cot for 5 minutes. We went in the other bedroom and waited. It feels silly to say it, but we were kind of holding our breath and just looking at each other, waiting to see what would happen! We expected Arthur to get really mad about it and know full well that he was being disciplined. But for the first 4 minutes he sounded very cheerful! After that he tried calling us and we didn't go to him, so his shouts got more and more angry until he was doing burst after burst of this funny forced crying, the type that isn't real crying at all, just the stuff that says, "I'm so mad at you, you're making me CRY about it! See?!" At 5 minutes we went back in and explained to him again why we put him in time-out, and then we got him out again to try nursing in bed once more.

He hit me again while he was on the breast and I warned him, and he didn't do it after that. But he didn't fancy sleeping either after that! He nursed for a while and then sat up, waved bye-bye to my breasts and climbed off the bed!!!! Funny boy! So he has had no nap today. He didn't even act tired at all, right up to when he was in bed for the night! He just seemed sooooo wired for the afternoon. Cheerful though, which was nice :) He fell asleep soooo fast at bedtime, hehe! He was asleep by 7pm and hasn't stirred since (it's 10pm now).

I took Arthur to have his feet measured again for shoes two days ago. He was measured for his first ever shoes in early December and has been in those shoes (size 3, width H) ever since. They have seemed nice and roomy until recently, and now it seems a little difficult to get his feet into them smoothly. They did tell me to come back in January (6 weeks or so after the last time) to be remeasured, as they said his feet would probably have grown enough to need new shoes by then. Their little feet grow SO fast at this age!!! I bought him brand new shoes last time for �24, and there is noooo way I'm doing that again! Good old eBay is the place for me :) It's just too much money to be paying out every 6-8 weeks for shoes that will barely get worn before another pair is needed!

Anyway so we went and he got measured, and was soooo good while the lady did it, and he measured between a size 4 and 4.5!!! And his feet have got a little narrower, he is a G width now, which I am DELIGHTED about since H is the widest you can find and there aren't many styles out there that come in an H width. The average at this age is apparently F or G, so there are plenty of styles and designs available to him now that he has slimmed down to a G!!! I am so pleased about that :)

The lady tried him in a pair of Clarks size 4.5 and also a pair of Startrite size 4.5, because she said there was no point putting him in a 4 if he's already edging out of that size - he would hardly be in them any time. But the 4.5s seemed too big on him, he had waaaay too much space at the toe and the heel slipped as he walked on his to-be-plastered foot. So she put him in size 4 and it fit great with room to spare. So I said thank you very much and LEFT!! Hehe! I did ask about the prices but she told me �31 for the Startrite shoes and �26 for the Clarks, which is just crazy! So I am all happy to have an excuse to bid bid BID on eBay again (I'm addicted), and tonight I won him a pair of brown suede Startrite ankle boots for �3 plus postage! :) Obviously barely worn, as the little boy who used to own them grew out of them in 4 weeks! So yay! And I also have a bid on a pair of normal Clarks shoes like his current pair. Of course he is going into a plaster cast tomorrow for 2 weeks so he'll only get to wear one of them for a while, but oh well. I love finding lovely shoes for fabulous prices sooooo much that I am actually excited about him growing out of his shoes each time now, hehe!

Today we went to church and it was great :) At first I was so distracted by anything and everything during the worship time. I couldn't focus on the words or the music, let alone think much about God. Twenty minutes later, I had settled in a bit more, and Neil was walking an enthusiastic Arthur up and down the hallway out the back of the main hall - he just wanted to walk walk walk! So I got to sit down and just BE before God a bit. I haven't taken time to do that in soooo long. I haven't really sung praise to God in a while either, as we keep missing church for one reason or another. It's one thing to sing the words parrot-style, but quite another to go into the words and their meaning and really connect with God and pour out an offering from your heart to him as you sing. I WISH I did that more often. I love it so, and it makes my whole heart soar like nothing else ever does. Sometimes I try but I don't get that sense of connection or soaring in my heart, because I'm too distracted or something. It takes me some time to warm up to really worship, sort of like it takes me some time to relax enough to fall asleep at night. When I have times in my life where I am on fire for Jesus and really close to God, I just seem to have praise on my lips all the time, and can instantly be caught up in intimate worship any time I stop and sing to God. But otherwise I have to prepare my soul a little, like preparing my mind to go to sleep at night.

So it was nice that I finally got to relax enough during the worship time, and that Neil was watching Arthur for a while too. I sang the songs, and I meant the words, but then someone read a passage from the Bible - I can't even remember what it was about - and the worship leader started playing "The Lord is Gracious and Compassionate" and everyone started to sing, and everything suddenly felt different inside. Like it hasn't felt for waaaaay too long. Not completely overwhelmingly so, but enough. I sat (I felt tired and achy in my bump when I stood) and closed my eyes and sang, and the chorus just goes, "Praise the Lord, O my soul, Praise the Lord" over and over. When I am not in the mood, that chorus just feels kind of repetitive and boring, but when I am in that place where I am meeting with God and my heart is really worshipping him, then the words and the music are beyond beautiful. I started to sing in harmony because the harmonies in that song are lovely, and there were lots of others singing in harmony around me, and oh when I sing in harmony my WHOLE heart and soul just wells up with joy. And before I knew it, there I was REALLY worshipping God, hands raised, heart soaring, and it felt so wonderful because it seems like it has been so long since I felt that way. And I remembered how incredibly indescribably much I LOVE my God, and felt his unfathomable love for me, and just nothing could touch me for how wonderful it was to be loved by God, and to love him in return.

Oh how I have MISSED that feeling! So I had a wonderful time this morning! After the worship time I took Arthur to creche, and 5 minutes later, Neil came in to say he would stay with Arthur at creche if I wanted to go in for the sermon! We are not leaving Arthur places yet, that's just how we want to do it. We don't have a time in our minds for when we'll start leaving him either. Just whenever it feels right, which could be a while yet. Anyway, I haven't been in to the sermon the WHOLE time that Arthur has been around! So I was glad to, and Neil had a great time with Arthur in creche. I actually really enjoy creche with Arthur! I don't fuss around him, I just let him play with the toys and the other kids, and often I just act as one of the helpers and play with or settle the other kids if they are unhappy or restless. Arthur doesn't bat an eyelid. But I won't leave him yet.

So I went in for the sermon, and it was about God's grace, focusing on the tricky issue of the sinful nature! Yikes! But it was soooooooo good. I so needed to hear it. The whole thing was just so relevant for me right now, and I felt uplifted at the end of it, and more joyful and aware of how God loves me and how he gives me everything I need to get through life living to please him, which is what I LONG to do, since I love him so much. I often feel that I can't do it, and it's true, I can't do it in my own strength. But it was so refreshing to be reminded today that I CAN do it in God's strength, and it's okay to say I can't do it without him :) It feels so freeing!

After the service I ate cake (!) and then went to get Arthur and Neil from creche. They were playing a piano that was stood in the corner! Arthur LOVES playing the piano. He gets quite upset if you take him away from one if it's time to go! But I had cake, so all was right with the world, hehe! Arthur likes cake :) Then I talked to countless people who complimented me on my bump, flattered me endlessly over my gorgeous little boy, and said how lovely it was to see us at church, and we left radiant with joy and eager for next Sunday! It was such a nice morning :)

This week is pretty busy. Arthur is having his plaster cast on tomorrow afternoon, and then we are just going to try and take him out in the pushchair for as long as possible (!!) so that the cast gets the longest chance to dry out without him putting any weight on it. Otherwise it will break and he'll have to go back the next day to have it reinforced or replaced, ugh! I am so worried that it will break. It broke last time, and he wasn't even walking then, well, taking steps but not walking everywhere all the time. We had SUCH a hard time keeping him off his feet that afternoon, so this time I think we have no choice but to wheel him around somewhere in the pushchair! We physically can't restrain him from putting weight on it otherwise. I just hope it will hold. The physio said she would make it a really good thick cast!

Then Tuesday is a mother-and-toddler group that we haven't been to in ages. And Wednesday is Playgroup. I'm not sure about taking him to those when his leg is in plaster as he will still be getting used to it, and he might find it bothersome, or even upsetting, that he can't get about when all the other kids are. Also I hate taking him out with a cast on. I get looks and comments. I would rather avoid those. On Thursday we have fellowship group, which I can't wait for! There will be children there, nobody will give us looks, and everyone will pray for Arthur that his feet get fixed fast. Friday is something, I'm sure, but I can't remember what.... Or maybe not? Saturday is Granny's birthday but she is in agony waiting for a hip replacement (in March) so she can't tolerate visitors at the moment :( My parents are coming from France to spend a day and a night with them for her birthday, but they won't be here long enough to see us. Never mind. They will just have to come again soon!

I am soooo thirsty. I am going to post this now and get a drink before bed. Arthur will probably wake in an hour or so, and then sleep the rest of the night till 6.30ish (when he nurses and gets up), which is what he has started doing recently. This is soooo wonderful in comparison to how things were for his first year (and then some!)!!! I'm so pleased :) It's sooo nice to have longer blocks of sleep too. Oh but last night he woke at 11pm and when I went in, he was sitting up on the bed all smiley and cute and warm and squidgely, and when I offered him water to drink he just smiled and smiled, and wouldn't even stop smiling to take a drink! He just kept gazing at me in the darkness and smiling. So I knew I should just be all quiet and consistent and lay him down and settle him back to sleep, otherwise he would get all awake and take forever to sleep again, but I couldn't HELP myself! He was just so cute, and I had to snuggle him! So I scooped him into my arms, sitting on the bed, and he just relaxed his body right into mine and wrapped his arms around my neck, and laid his little cheek against my shoulder. He stayed perfectly still and quiet and I cuddled him tightly for the longest time. It was just such a precious moment, completely silent, just totally ENJOYING the cuddle. Finally I pulled him back to see if he was sleeping or something, and he turned his eyes up towards mine and just smiled and smiled again :) So I should have put him down and settled him to sleep, but I just HAD to keep cuddling him! He stayed absolutely wide awake, as though he was enjoying the cuddle just as much as I was. It was so lovely. We just cuddled close and silent for maybe 15 minutes! And then I lay him down and nursed him. He kept popping off to smile at me, bless his heart! It took him till midnight to go back to sleep, but it was so worth it. What a treasured moment it was for me! I think it was for him too. And he made up for it by sleeping from then until 7.35am!! :) He was as cheery as anything when he woke up.

He's so precious. I love him soooooooooooooooooo much. So so much.

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