Email me
2006-10-21 - 8.35pm previous entry next entry
Montage!
Finished my montage at LAST! I made like four different attempts but there kept being too many photos or not the right music, etc. I wanted to make something that I can look at when I am feeling down and see how amazingly blessed I have been over my life - I KNOW that will immediately lift my mood. I am trying to make lots of things to help me like this at the moment. So far the things I am trying are working :)
Anyway, it's kind of long (about 10 minutes!) but here it is if anyone is interested to see it:
I emailed it to my parents this evening, and just about 20 minutes ago after the boys were asleep for the night, I sat Neil down in front of the computer to watch it. He got as far as the bit where Arthur is born and suddenly started SOBBING! He pulled the headphones off and sobbed, "I can't watch it" I just held him and asked what was making him cry, and he managed to get out the words, "Dad can't see it" My poor Neil :( He did mop up and want to continue watching it after a while, and then he just laughed and cried at the photos, especially the cheeky ones of our monkey boy! Now he has gone to get pizza. I asked him if he wanted to talk about anything, but you know men (?!) - he said he's fine. I felt kind of bad that I'd made him watch something that made him so upset! But he said it was just unexpected, to have all those emotions pop out suddenly, and that he guesses he's just got a lot of stuff going on under the surface. I hope he's dealing with things okay.... I get worried that I'm not helping him enough, I mean, HE'S helping me soooo much right now because it's a bit of a struggle for me, but he did just lose his father this year. I hope I'm doing enough to help him with it. I am a bit concerned that I'm not...
Anyway.
Arthur says more cute things, or just things that make me think what a big boy he's getting. He says, "Look a dat!" (Look at that!) with great excitement, at anything at everything, like say a paper muffin case in his hand, hehe! He says, "Ah-yah turn!" when he wants a toy that Matthew is playing with ;) I get a lot of commands these days - "Mummy, sit!" (pointing with index finger right ON the very square mm spot where I must sit my bottom!), "Mummy shing, shing 'Fair'" (he loves the song 'Animal Fair', mainly because I do incredibly silly sounds and actions with it that aren't actually the ones that go with it! He loves silliness. And farting sounds. *sigh* "Mummy, make toas'!" is another frequently heard phrase around here lately! Today Neil stumbled over something or other - I can't remember the situation exactly, but I said, "Aw Neil!" in a sort of mock exasperated tone - we have been having a lovely silly day today, messing around and gently mocking each other ;) Anyway, since then every time Neil has done something mildly clumsy (which happens a lot!), this little voice pipes up, "Aw, Neil!" hehehe!
I'm getting really quite broody. *sigh* Maybe it's all these new pregnancies around me lately? It's sooooo crazy of me, I'm half annoyed with MYSELF really! I can't shove it down anymore though, not like I could when it was just a mild wistful feeling in the first few months after Matthew was born. Now it's much more of a pull. It's nuts. I have two children under two (only for 19 more days - can you believe Arthur will be 2 that soon?!), I only gave birth 4 months ago, I am really struggling to manage with the two of them, and yet my crazy mind is longing to do it all over again. Good thing my body is more sensible, and being all non-fertile for now! I am crampy today though, and it's only a few weeks before the time I got my first period after I had Arthur. But I'm good at being crampy in other departments which reside locally to the reproductive one. So it's probably just something else. I am actually starting to REALLY hope I take my time getting my period back (not that I'm longing for periods again in any case!) because then I won't get tempted. I found last time that once I was having fertile cycles after I had Arthur, it was almost like an un-scratched itch to NOT use a perfectly good fertile cycle! I hope that tandem nursing will stave those cycles off for a few months longer than last time. I know Neil is in NO hurry to have more babies, although he seems vaguely open to another somewhere down the line. I have my ideas for the next one, timing-wise, but I am keeping it to myself, because there's no point in talking about it and dwelling on it this early, or if he says no. It's a bigger gap than we've just done though.
I am nuts. I can't believe I'm even SAYING this stuff.
Okay, pizza is here! :) Will update agian soon.
Recent entries.....
Moving time... - 2009-01-04
Christmas Eve! - 2008-12-24
Long-overdue update, a few Nathey pics and a video clip :) - 2008-12-01
Lots of news! - 2008-11-03
Nathan at 8 months... - 2008-10-12