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2006-04-13 - 10.07pm previous entry next entry
Lonnnng updatey entry (part one!)
Phew! Back at LAST!!! And I have sooooo much to write about, or at least, it feels like I do. Arthur is taking an early nap but I have been uploading photos and stuff for 30 minutes so I may not have much time left to update. We'll see.
Thank you all SO so much for the uplifting and supportive messages and notes over our difficult time lately - they have meant so much to me and helped me through each difficult day. We are definitely getting back to normal-ish now, which is a huge relief! I am horribly behind on reading my favourite diaries so I have no idea what is going on with all my online friends! I will have to catch up soon and hope you are all doing well for now!
Okay, let's see. Arthur has been such a poorly boy :( I was sure it was just a bad cold, and so at first I wasn't too bothered by the idea, since we have had FIVE of those this year alone already! It was just a shame about the timing. But it wasn't a cold. It was one of the influenzas, but I denied that for a long time because REAL influenza is a 2-week long deal with high fever and being unable to get out of bed for anything most of that time, and I thought it couldn't be anything like that if Neil only had it for just under a week and still managed to get up and do some normal things on the last few days. But it does turn out that it was an influenza strain after all. Marvellous. A really virulent one too, it seems, as my poor lovely helpful mother went back to France with it, suffering horribly :( She caught it at least as bad as Arthur. Neil had it during the week he was with his family, and his mum has since been down with it. I finally succumbed to it the day my mummy left to go back to France, but I can't understand it really because I have had it so mildly. I haven't been anywhere to catch anything else, so it has to have been that flu virus. But I didn't have a temperature at all, just ached and ached and ached for days and had to keep going back to bed, and all my congestion has weirdly been in my ears, not in my head. I don't have the awful cough that everyone else has either. But it's the only bug I could have caught so I guess I was fighting it off all the time I was looking after Arthur (thank God, because otherwise there is no way I could have managed on my own caring for him!), and then just got it mildly or something. I was sure you can't get flu "mildly" though! It's either there badly or you don't have it! But anyway. It seems like I did somehow have it mildly.
Anyway! Poor Arthur had a temperature for days and days (well, mostly nights and nights), and was so miserable all the time. After my last entry to say how he was doing, his temperature went back up to 102 and it was so hard to reduce with any methods. He also started being sick, urgh. He hasn't had a tummy bug yet so he hasn't really done "being sick" - just a couple of odd times over the last year or so for no apparant reason. Those times he wasn't distressed by it at all, but this time was soooooo different. He scared me for the 20 minutes or so beforehand because he was so still and subdued. He just lay on the sofa and didn't move a muscle. He only moved his eyes now and then, and he looked so unhappy and not like himself at all. He wouldn't take the breast or a drink and after the first 10 minutes I started to get worried and wonder why he was acting that way. I even took a photo to send to Neil on the internet so he could see what I meant and help me figure out what to do:
He just did not move an inch from that position and that expression for 20 minutes, which is AGES for my usually active, cheery boy! I was so worried. I figured he was in pain after a while and tried to give him Calpol (he also had a temperature so it didn't hurt to try the medicine) but he wouldn't swallow much of it, and then he threw up all over me/him/the floor. I didn't freak out!!!! Yay me! :) But poor Arthur :( He was upset and I comforted him and then changed both our clothes and cleaned the carpet. He didn't perk up though, and 20 minutes later he threw up on me/him/the floor again. Once I had comforted him that time and changed our clothes again and started to clean the carpet again, he suddenly perked right up and acted normal, so I realised he had been acting so weird because he must have been feeling really nauseous, poor love :( He WAS super congested so it may have been the fact that he had swallowed a ton of goo during the night. However, the rest of us have found that we couldn't eat for a few days when we had it, and Neil and my mum had some nausea too, but nothing like any vomiting. Weird bug.
Anyway. He didn't get better the next day, and he didn't get better the next day, even though he had a few 10 minute bursts here and there where he was more smiley and played a little bit with his toys. He very quickly got miserable and clingy, and kept on dropping off to sleep on the sofa as though he couldn't stay awake. He napped 2 or 3 times a day, but he needed to be close to me or my mum, being cuddled or dozing off next to us on the sofa. Here he is the first day Mummy was here to help us:
He wanted his head snuggled down lower than his bottom for some reason! He threw up when he woke though :( I used my softest flannel fabrics for nappy-making to spread out on the sofa so he could nap comfortably, and the sofa got protected from snot and stuff! My poor Boo. Here's another from the day after that:
I am SO thankful for my mum's help. She thinks she didn't help much, because Arthur pretty much just wanted me and cried and whined most of the few days she was here, but he was just feeling so ill and only Mummy will do when he feels that way. That was fine though. In his more happy moments, Nana did the lifting and carrying when he wanted to be lifted up to see something or held. I really needed that help because I am finding it so hard to hold him now with my huge bump! I get exhausted so quickly when I am holding him, and more so that week because of how very little sleep I was getting caring for him during the night with Neil away. So it was WONDERFUL to have Mummy here! She cleaned and tidied for me when Arthur and I lay down for naps. She was wonderful and MUCH needed company for me. She was so good with Arthur. She is a seasoned veteran with vomiting children (!!) so her calm presence helped me a lot and she wasn't squeamish about physically, erm, catching sick with her hands if the need arose! Ew! I'm sure one day that will be something I'm used to, but yikes, I couldn't do it now! Thank goodness for Mummy!
She was so touched one time when Arthur let her hold him and cuddle him when he was feeling horrible and crying, because I was on the phone to Neil about the latest on the car at the time. She held him and kissed him - no wonder she caught the bug, poor Mummy! It seems so unfair that she should end up so poorly with it herself when she came to help and just loved on that little boy SO much while she was here :( But in the end he went to sleep on her and stayed there for ages. She got quite tearful, she was so touched by it, because he doesn't really know her as he never gets to see her. I think he must trust her a lot because of how close he sees her being with me, and how obvious it is that I trust and love her. Also we are very similar, and our voices sound the same. He must get a vibe of being able to trust her, but it was lovely that he let her comfort him when he was feeling horrible. Every day since she went back to France, I have phoned to see how she is doing. Today she finally sounds like she is doing better. The whole time she was really ill, she told me she just kept thinking of HOW she caught such a horrid bug, and she said it was worth catching it to have such closeness with little Arthur :) I love my Mummy.
The second day Mummy was here, I called the doctor out. Arthur's temperature wasn't coming down and it was day 4 with a high temperature, and he seemed so not-himself that I thought it would be wise. I couldn't have taken him there on my own and we didn't have a car anyway, so I got a home visit for him. The doctor came and looked in his throat and ears and listened to his chest. He had a bad cough but it wasn't a chest infection, and his tonsils were fine. He did have an ear infection starting in one of his ears - BOY am I glad I called the doctor out when I did! I can't imagine how much worse it would have got if we hadn't caught that early! So Arthur had his first ear infection, and his first course of antibiotics which lasted 5 days. He took his medicine really well, though he didn't want to at first.
He was still poorly and sleepy when Mummy left to go back to France, and I was feeling pretty yucky with coming down with his bug, but I had my eyes fixed on the fact that Neil would be home the next day, and I couldn't wait! We missed him so much. He came home a day early because he wanted to be with us. His dad's funeral went really well and he ended up feeling like he had a really constructive time with his family. They talked a lot of stuff through and enjoyed being together, and he felt a lot of closure over things, which is great. I WISH we had been there. The day of the funeral, I really felt such a pull the whole day, like I wanted to be there with him, and also to say goodbye to his dad for myself. He was such a lovely man. Arthur shows such a lot of his mannerisms and some of his expressions too, which is so lovely. But anyway, we couldn't be there. Neil's family were so understanding and I'm grateful for that. But I still wish we could have been there.
Neil was feeling way better by the time he came home, which sort of worked out well so that he could pretty much take over with Arthur while I spent the weekend in bed with the lurgy. Arthur still has a bad cough nearly 2 weeks later, and is somewhat snotty still, but he is definitely much better. Yesterday I had an antenatal appt with my GP and I asked her to check his (and my) ears to reassure me that the infection was all gone (and that *I* didn't have one, as I am so gunky and fuzzy in my ears - I don't, which is a relief!). His ears looked perfectly healthy, yay! She said not to worry about his cough, and that it could go on a while, but it will clear up. He has a lot more energy and is finally eating big meals again. He didn't eat properly (or at all, sometimes) for a week, and even when he started eating again, his portions were tiiiny, just a few spoonfuls of cereal for breakfast before he was full, etc. I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooo unbelievably glad to see him better again! :)
We went to the physio this week about his feet. I didn't think I would be well enough to take him, but I felt better than I expected and managed okay. Arthur put EVERY SINGLE TOY in the waiting area in his mouth while we waited. Ugh. I was absolutely dreading the possibilitiy of him coming down with something else already, but that was 3 days ago and so far he is still okay!
Anyway his feet are okay. Still a little curly, and the left one has a slightly curved outer edge which isn't so normal, but he can hold it straight without any trouble and they seem better than before. The physio said she wouldn't even think of putting more plaster on it or even night boots, it's that close to being normal now. We are going to leave it for 3 more months and then go back at the beginning of July to reassess. If they have got any worse, she said she would simply ask me to buy him sturdy, stiff boots to wear instead of shoes for a while, that's all! Which sounds fun for him in the heat of summer, so I hope it won't even be necessary, but it's a VAST improvement on plaster casts! Also, Matthew will be here by then, so she said she would love to look at his feet for me while we're there and reassure me that they are okay. We think they will be, because they were so straight-looking at the scan, and Arthur's were curly even at that stage of development. Any of our children could have this issue with their feet, so I'm just relieved that it looks like Matthew hasn't inherited it (so far).
Arthur was totally charming at the hospital. He always has been a charmer, but since he got better he seems to have stepped it up a level! He seems so thrilled to be better and so so soooo smiley all the time now! I couldn't think how he could get more smiley than before, but he really is! He just beams at everyone he sees, and not just a little smile like a glance, but he fixes them with his eyes and grins and grins until his nose is all wrinkled up and his shoulders hunch right up to take part in the smile! My funny sweet boy :) Of course this means he gets a LOT of nice compliments and interaction from people when we are out places. During his appt with the physio, the nurse came in and just picked him up to fuss over him, and took him out of the room! She came back after a bit to ask if I minded, but Arthur seemed perfectly happy so I said it was fine. She came back with him 5 minutes later, gushing about how lovely he was :) He had been helping the receptionists at the desk and smiling at everyone who came in, and apparantly he had made their day! She was still holding him when she told me she had enjoyed giving him a cuddle, and when he heard her say "cuddle", he put his arms round her neck and squeezed her a big smiley cuddle!! Everyone awwed over him so much that I actually got blushy and felt kind of like I wanted to just take him home now. I am not great with too much attention, even though it was on Arthur mostly!
Anyway, he is a sweetie :) He gave the doctor a cuddle yesterday too. I think he is just a very affectionate little boy who is confident around people and who is ULTRA happy with life now that he's feeling better again! It IS a great feeling to feel well when you've felt ill for ages, so I completely understand that! He is giving Neil and I cuddles and kisses all the time at the moment. He just comes over to us, or climbs up next to us on the sofa, and puts his arms around our necks/legs/tummies (whichever part is accessible really!) and hugs his cheek into us, saying, "Aaaahhh!" I think he has picked that up because we tend to just spontaneously say "Aaahh" when he cuddles us :) He kisses a bit more normally these days - less slobbery and open-mouthed! He kisses my knees and my arms while I'm sitting down, and Daddy's head while he's holding onto Daddy to have his trousers pulled up after a nappy change or something. And if I point to my belly and tell him Matthew is in there, and say "Give Matthew a kiss!" he kisses my belly :) It's so cute. The other day he was busy playing with toys on the floor and I was flaked out on the sofa, and suddenly he dropped what he was playing with, climbed up on the sofa kissed me on the lips, climbed down and continued playing with the toy! That was just a magic moment for me :) He's so lovely. I can barely contain how much I love him.
That's another thing I've noticed. During the time Neil was away, I seem to have developed an even deeper intimacy with Arthur. I don't think it's specifically because Neil was away, more a combination of being the only one around to care for him, and him being so very poorly all that time. I noticed my whole focus was on Arthur. I didn't think about anything else. If he had been healthy it wouldn't have been that way probably. Day and night I focused on Arthur and held him and rocked him and nursed him constantly. For two nights I did this all night long without really getting any sleep for myself. Normally this would drive me crazy and I'd resent his every waking sound through the night, knowing it was going to mean a disturbance to MY sleep, but that didn't happen. I guess I was just so worried about him, and so keenly aware of being the only one there to look after him. There was no sense of feeling like it was just a case of getting through this one night on my own, because it felt like the time ahead stretched for ever, just me and Arthur trying to deal with this virus. I knew Neil wouldn't be home anytime soon, and Mummy wouldn't be with us at night when she was over from France. Every time he woke, even 10 minutes after he last woke, and feeling dizzy with exhaustion, my heart just leapt to see how I could help him, and it didn't seem to occur to me to bother with my own needs. All day he was so clingy but I just wanted to help him feel better so that's all I thought about. He napped on and off when he was ill so I did get a few chances to eat and pee and stuff, and more so when Mummy was here to watch him. But he mostly napped on the sofa so I needed to stay right there with him in case he rolled off or woke in an unfamiliar place to him.
By the end of the week, with Arthur starting to turn the corner, and Neil due home soon, I began to notice how intensely close I felt to Arthur. I wish I could even describe it, or contrast it with how I felt previously, but I can't seem to isolate the feelings enough to describe them. When Neil got home, even though I was too ill to do things with Arthur, I hated to be apart from him, even to go to bed. Arthur came to see me a lot in bed when I was poorly, and I nursed him if he asked for it. I wanted to be close to Arthur at night, and found it hard to sleep in another room like I had been doing with ease in recent months. We have been so physically close and so caught up in being poorly together. He seems to thrive on just being close to me, and I thrive on it too. He has always smiled and looked happy when he sees me, but lately his body language just seems to show pure delight when he sees me, say on waking after sleep or something. He clasps his hands together and squeeeezes them till his arms shake with the effort, smiling his biggest smile and his eyes shine and shine. I love him sooooooooooooooooooooooo much. So so much.
Last night when he went to sleep I lay with my face inches from his and just gazed at him for the longest time. I don't know if my eyes went funny or what, but his face seemed to me like it gave off light, it was so beautiful. I just lay there thinking that I never in my LIFE saw anything so beautiful before, as my precious little boy's sleeping face. I wanted to reach out and touch his cheeks and his hair and his forehead, but when I did, the touch didn't seem enough. The feeling was making me long for closeness to him, but I didn't find that in a touch. I guess he is just part of me and always will be in a way. I became suddenly aware of how fast this time will become a memory, and how much I need to treasure it now. And I do! It's so wonderful.
Well, Arthur has now been asleep for nearly two hours, which is lovely! He is really in-between needing one nap or two naps lately, especially with being tired after his fluey virus. If he gets up around 6am then he never lasts the morning, so I put him down at 10.30 this morning and he's still asleep now at 12.20. I don't think he'll take another nap though, given how long this one has lasted. His naps are longer than they ever used to be in general, but the norm for Arthur is one nap, lasting one hour. I would personally love a longer break (or two!) in the day, but I am so grateful for an hour, as he never used to nap for longer than 30 minutes at a time. Which was actually pretty hard when I was tired out. An hour feels much more of a break for me, even if it's only one nap a day now. It's going to interfere with morning activities like Playgroup, him needing an earlier nap than usual, but to be honest I am not worried about that for now. I'm relieved that there's a break for the Easter holidays at the moment, because otherwise Neil and I had decided to keep him out of Playgroup for a few weeks perhaps, simply to give his body a break. I know it's "good" practise for his immune system, to be catching a new cold or bug every SINGLE time we go there, but enough is enough really. There will come a time when he's enrolled in something permanent like nursery or school, and he'll just have to catch whatever is going and keep attending throughout. But right now, he has been knocked by 7 viruses in the last 4 months alone, and the last one really kicked his butt. He has been teething for most of them, and this time he cut a front tooth during the virus, and I noticed he has his third molar (the first one at the bottom!) coming through today, so he is low on the immune front. I think the poor kid could do with a break! I know his parents could! ;) Not a long break, and hopefully the season is almost finished for the peak of all these bugs and colds. But we could do with a respite from viral illness for a little while, so perhaps we'll avoid Playgroup for a bit. Maybe just a few weeks or so. Arthur is just as happy with ANY outing actually, although he does seem to enjoy Playgroup a lot. He is just as thrilled to be out amongst people in the shops or at church or somewhere, so I know I am not depriving him of something he enjoys and won't find in any other capacity.
Arthur just let out a lonnnng sigh :) I think he is waking up, so without further ado, I'm going to scoop that little love up into my arms and spend the rest of my day with him :) I'll finish this later. I have a ton more general updatey stuff to write, and a few more photos, so I'll try to get that done this evening. And then I need to update my pregnancy journal. Can you believe I will have another baby in 8 weeks time?!! Crazy thought! I'm going to love on my lil man now, while he's my one-and-only :)
Okay, it's 8.30pm and I'm back until dinner is ready. Then I really really need to get an early night. So hopefully I can finish what I wanted to write before then! Wow, this entry is going to be sooooo long! It has just been too long since I last did a proper update, and I am that besotted with my little one, so I know I tend to waffle on and on and ON for ages about his every little mannerism ;) But I don't care!
Arthur just turned 17 months old! I changed my breastfeeding milestone blinkie to 17 months :) He still nurses aplenty which I love. Some of the time he just takes like 2 sucks and gets down to play again, or if he's eager to get up in the morning then he won't even take the breast for his waking "feed". But never mind. I don't think he will wean now before Matthew is born, and that was really the main thing I was worried about. I did not want him to wean. I think nursing him will be a very useful thing while he is getting used to the transition of having a new baby brother, especially a new baby brother who gets to use "his" breasts all the time!! ;) I don't know how he'll be about sharing them. I know he loves them for himself, and I almost wonder if he sees them as his rather than mine! If he's nursing on one, he pats or strokes the other, bless him! He plays with my bra on the other side. Sometimes when I nurse him to sleep for naps (which I still do for daytime naps), he falls asleep still flutter-sucking on one side, and with both hands holding the other breast like a comfort blankie! I love it, it's so cute :) But hmmm, that is not going to work when there's a new person attached to and in possession of the other side! I hope it will all go smoothly.
Arthur's bedtime transition continues to go pretty well. He prefers his big boy bed to our mattress now. He really seems to like it in there. The full-length maternity pillow that covers the join in the two mattresses, and which serves to seperate Arthur into his own space from us, seems to have become a comforting thing for Arthur. He loves to snuggle up to it to go to sleep! I didn't think of it like that, but it's quite handy. On the other side he has a mesh bedguard, and he sleeps with his head on a proper pillow. We started that because of his congestion, 2 colds ago, but he likes it and sleeps well (and looks so cute and grown-up at the same time!) so we kept it that way for him. Sometimes he snuggles down the bed a little and sleeps with his head off the pillow, but mostly he doesn't.
Our bedtime routine now goes as follows - Neil gets home from work around 6.15pm. By that time, I am just a knackered heap on the sofa (!) and Neil receives the many cuddles that Arthur is excitedly giving him while I tell him about Arthur's day. Arthur usually wants to show him the kitchen (he is obsessed with the kitchen!) and some of the toys he's played with that day, and then Neil runs him a bath and gets him undressed. Neil and Arthur bath together around 6.30 or 6.45pm and I gather the things for getting him ready for bed, if Neil hasn't already done that, while they're in there. If he has got them ready, I tidy all the toys and books away downstairs to make the living room nice for us to enjoy a grown-up evening in! I get Arthur a fresh sippy cup of water and take them upstairs when Neil calls me from the bathroom.
I hold Arthur while Neil gets out of the bath, and we watch the water go down the plughole. Arthur waves it bye-bye (bless!) and then Neil takes him to our big floor-bed. We put his night nappy on and his sleepsuit, and we usually have to sing action songs with him while we do it, because he is usually totally wired and wriggly during this stage! He is REALLY up for playing games and being a cheeky monkey after his bath, which can make getting him dressed quite difficult! He just has a mischievous glint in his eye all the time, and knows the perfect moments to flip over, climb off the bed, and run naked down the hallway to fling something in the bath or through the bars of the stairgate, down the stairs! He giggles and squeals the whole time he is running though, so we never lose him, hehe! We TRY not to play excited games with him after his bath, though he's absolutely gagging for them, because then he's super wired for bedtime. Sometimes we have a short game of Catch-The-Arthur-And-Eat-Him-Up! though ;) This boy LOVES rough and tumble games. He doesn't mind being thrown around on the bed, or pulled across it by his ankles and then eaten alive, hehe! He squeals and laughs and screams till he can't breathe and his eyes water. He just LOVES it! :)
After he's dressed for bed, he wants a drink of water, and then we clean his teeth. We used to put lotion on his face after that, but I don't like to use lotion on him unless his skin is dry. Skin doesn't need lotion. My mum always told me her father (he was a doctor) said that you should never apply moisturising agents to your skin as a routine, because then the skin adjusts and needs it to keep moisturised. Arthur's skin is new and young and definitely doesn't need help with moisturising! So when he gets dry skin from a biting wind or teething drool, I put lotion on the dry parts, but lately he hasn't had dry skin at all so we don't do the lotion part any more.
Right after that we all sit on the bed, and Neil and I sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to him with the actions. Arthur smiles and smiles and SMILES while we sing it, and watches our actions. He usually joins in with the actions after a while, and makes sing-song "ahhh" sounds as though he is singing too :) That's our bedtime song. As soon as we finish singing, Neil kisses Arthur goodnight and lays him down next to me to nurse, and switches out the light. I nurse Arthur for as long as he wants to, or sometimes as long as I can bear too, if it's painful. Lately it hasn't been hurting so he has nursed for longer. He usually gets up to have a drink of water several times over say a 10 minute feed. If I sense he is dropping off to sleep, I stop the feed, which I HATE doing (he hates it too) but it's part of the plan to help him fall asleep by himself rather than depending on me to help him.
When that's done, I put him in his bed and every time he gets up (which can be a LOT still), I tell him to lie down on his bed. At first he is wide awake and I have to lay him down every time as I say it. But after a while, he lays down when I tell him to, and he usually wants a long hug with his arms around my neck before going to sleep. I can hear him settling himself for sleep as I hug him, which is lovely. Sometimes I pat him, but only if he takes my hand and puts it on his tummy or side, which means he wants me to pat him :) He goes off to sleep pretty well at that point, though he wasn't so great at it tonight and mucked around for ages trying to make it a game. We decided that if he does that, I tell him that Mummy is going downstairs now, and that it's time for sleep. I kiss and hug him goodnight, and leave the room. Neil sits with him and continues the "lie down on your bed" routine. Arthur cries when I'm not there, but he gets the picture and goes to sleep pretty quickly, and at least he is not left alone.
He doesn't wake at all in the evenings now, but he still wakes a couple of times during the night, usually between 1 and 2am, and again around 5am. At 5am he can be a nightmare to resettle. I don't feel it's because he is going to bed too early or anything - he's usually asleep by 7pm - because he is definitely tired enough by 6 or 7pm, and sleeps a good while longer after he is finally resettled at the 5am waking. We just have a no-tolerance thing on him getting up for the day before 6am, even if it means he is lying awake in bed with us trying to settle him off to sleep again till 6am. I think if we let him get up before 6am he would easily get in the habit of it, and that would not do for us at all! While he was ill he sometimes slept till 8am, which he has NEVER done before! Today he got up at 6am though, after being awake from about 5.15. Urgh! It does vary a lot. I wish we could get his night wakings to disappear, but I'm still hoping somehow that they'll fade out, or that continuing this method thingy will make a difference to it.
Urgh, I'm waffling in WAY too much detail and it's filling my diary entry up way too much! Also I am running out of time to write much more. Let's see, what else can I write about?
We went to visit my grandparents earlier in the week that Arthur got ill. Granny is doing really well with her new hip! I'm so happy about that. They loved seeing Arthur and he loved the visit. He walked with Grandoug around their garden for a while when I was feeling too tired to watch him amongst their 50 thousand household items TOTALLY unsuitable for visiting toddlers! He was really interested in the garden. I watched them from the window and saw how he looked closely at the plants that Grandoug was pointing out to him, and how sweet they both looked together - 80 years apart in age, Arthur so little against Grandoug, but their walk and just the way they held themselves seemed so similar somehow. I took a few photos :)
I love that there are photos of me when I was the same age as Arthur, walking with Grandoug just exactly like that, looking interested in the things he was pointing out :) In some ways that makes it seem weird to watch my own son doing it. Grandoug seems to have changed soooo little in the photos. He had the same white hair in the photos of me and him as well. I love that Arthur knows his great-grandparents. It's pretty special for them too, to spend time with their great-grandson.
Oh poo, now I've had my dinner and it's 10pm. I'm too tired to finish the entry, but it's waaaay too long in any case and I just wanted to get it posted tonight, so I think I'll post it and try to write everything else in another entry tomorrow. And find another time to update my pregnancy diary! It's Easter weekend so Neil is off work Friday and Monday, yay! Hopefully it means we'll both catch up a little on rest and I'll get a bit more time to write here until I'm caught up. But I really want to sleeeep, so I'm going to bed now. Will continue tomorrow, hopefully!
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