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2005-07-07 - 10.25pm previous entry next entry
We are okay
Thank you so much to everyone who left me messages hoping we are okay after the terrorist attack on London. I'm sorry it has taken all day to write this. We are all fine. Thankfully, the four different bombs went off nowhere near where we live. We live in SW London, south of the Thames, which is Greater London rather than central London, and the bombs were all north of the Thames in central London. I am just so so so so so so thankful that Neil does not work in central London. Most people who live around here seem to, in his field of work, and he has been looking for jobs in central London, till recently when he got a new job within his company. I'm just glad he DOESN'T. He works a few miles from where we live, still in SW London. He does go into his company's London office from time to time, like yesterday he was due to, but he got to stay and focus on the new job he just started this week instead. Otherwise he would have been on the tubes and trains and all sorts. But that would have been yesterday, not today.
London feels like a scary place to be right now, even out here in the more suburby part.
I don't know how I feel about it, I guess I feel shocked at the moment. Yesterday I was crying watching the TV because London won the bid to host the 2012 Olympics - and I'm not that huge an Olympic fanatic, but I just felt soooo proud of London. I love being in London. It is home like nowhere else could ever be. Proud is always exactly how I feel. I walk the streets with pride because it's mine, y'know? When London won that bid, I felt like, "Yeah, we did it!!" even though I had nothing to do with it personally! But London is mine, to me. I feel like I am a part of its tapestry, woven in there tightly. I was born in north central London and lived there till I was 10 months old and my parents moved to where I live now. I have never lived anywhere else but London. Most of my family are Londoners - though actually my mum's side is from oop narth and Scotland.
Yesterday I was soooo thrilled about the Olympic bid, and crying and laughing like a crazy person at the celebrations on TV, and giving Arthur extra excitable squeezes and telling him that he would be 7 when the Olympics happen right HERE!!! How exciting that will be, and he will know all about it by that age. I felt proud to bursting and sang him that song, "Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner, that I love London town!" (not sung correctly unless you sing it like, "Maybe it's becoz ahhmuh Lundunuuuuh, tha' I luv Lundun taaaaahhhhn!!" ;) ).
And then today I am crying watching the TV because, I don't know, I just hurt watching the people who make up "us" with me and a million other Londoners, injured and scared and bloodied and soot-covered and shocked. I saw the remains of the bus that blew apart and it just looked like any old red double-decker bus that goes past the end of my road every 15 minutes, and I see people sitting packed out on those buses all the time. All the time. And to think that it was just like that and all of a sudden ripped apart like that, and people killed and injured so badly. I saw an eyewitness who said he saw - I'm sorry to write this - body parts, and that they included those of children. That just broke me completely. Maybe it would have anyway, but I notice I am so much more tender about children now that I am a mother. I mean, not that I wasn't tender towards them before, but you know. Something changes and every child could be your own.
I held Arthur super close today. Super close. I stood holding him to my chest with his cheek pressed against mine as we both watched the TV screen, and I prayed aloud for the people I was seeing and cried. It just breaks your heart to see it and feel for the people. Praying for them made me cry more because of how it somehow makes me get in there with their pain to lift them to God. But I had to pray. How could you not? You feel so helpless watching things like that.
My brother and his Sarah live further into London than we do, but not near enough the bomb sites to be a problem. He is okay, but Sarah works in central London and as far as I know is still stranded there. I hope she is okay. I tried to call them twice this evening but there is no answer. I know Bennie (that's my brother) spoke to her after it all happened and she was safely at work, having made it there on the tubes, but I don't know how she will get home again, noooo idea. They are telling everyone to walk home, but that could take her hours, and how would anyone have the energy for that? I worry that Bennie has gone to meet her somewhere halfway, which is most likely actually. He would want to go to her if possible. I hope they are okay, and home soon, and not too exhausted.
They said that Londoners should stay where they are and not travel today. I know I am probably too far out of the danger zone to heed that, but still I felt nervous and I wanted to stay home, so we did. You feel safer in your nest when crazy things are happening out there in the world. I know it's not healthy to think like that too much, but today I was glad to stay in my house with my little one and watch it on TV. I knew there was no risk to me if I went out in my local area, but I still didn't want to. The whole thing just scared me.
It is pouring with rain suddenly, which is NOT going to help things.
Urgh. Such a sad day :(
I have lots of normal stuff to say but I just don't feel like saying it right now. I have some lovely photos too. But I will update tomorrow hopefully in a happier mood and update as normal. It's late anyway so I should climb in bed next to my lil Boo and snuggle close to him and sleep.
I loved the speech that Tony Blair made. I really agreed with the things he said in it. I wish I could remember it all off the top of my head, but what stuck out was when he said that life will continue and the terrorists will not succeed in terrorising us. London rises up in strength just like New York did, from such an event. People come together, they don't get divided. I like how he did what he needed to do here and then went back to business at the G8 summit. If that was why they struck, they didn't stop it happening.
London has survived far worse carnage and come out stronger than ever, and so we will again. I know that lives have been lost today and so many people hurt and countless more people will be emotionally scarred by today's events, but I still do not think that the terrorists have "succeeded". I am scared and shocked, but I will not live my life differently because people have tried to force us to.
"We will not be terrorised."
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