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2006-02-21 - 11.45pm previous entry next entry
Thirty today!!
Urrrgh it's soooo late and I'm so tired, but I wanted to write a quick entry before falling into bed anyway, since it's my birthday!!! Thank you SO much to everyone who left me a Happy Birthday message in my guestbook :) Today has been slightly crappy in various ways so I honestly felt like I really needed to read some cheery birthday greetings from friends when I checked in this evening :) Thank you! It means a lot to me! xx
Arthur isn't well, but I can't figure out what it is. He just has this cough and nothing much else. It is getting worse every day (or rather, night, since it seems to be an instant symptom the moment he is lying down - even when I lie him down for changing his nappy, poor love). He is alternately energetically cheerful, and miserably clingy, I just can't figure it out. I felt sure he was coming down with chicken pox and then lo and behold yesterday evening we saw 4 red raised spots on him - one on his neck, one on his chest, on on the tummy and the other on his back. I googled like crazy after he was in bed, and read that Day 1 spots start as "red bumps" which blister on Day 2 (at the same time as more "red bumps" appear). On Day 3, the Day 1 spots scab over and the Day 2 spots blister, etc. His red bumps were textbook "beginning" spots for chicken pox, but you can't diagnose chicken pox till you have the classic blisters/scabs, and even then they say you shouldn't have a 100% diagnosis until you have all three stages of spots at the same time (ie bumps, blisters and scabs). Anyway I felt so relieved, partly because I have been eager for him to get chicken pox and be done with it, but also because he really hasn't seemed himself for 4 or 5 days now and this cough is just odd, sitting there all on its own without a cold to back it up!
So this morning the first thing we did was strip him off and check his bumps, and they'd GONE!!!! All but two, which were definitely just little red spots now, much smaller and no blistering, etc. So I can't understand it! It can't be chicken pox then. But he really doesn't seem well, and it's just going on for days now, while the cough gets worse. I have only had experience of coughs as a clear-up stage in a cold or flu, so I don't know what to make of Arthur's one. He coughs a lot at night, but so far he hasn't woken up too much, even when he coughs a lot. This evening he was coughing in his sleep so much that I went up and stood in the doorway to see if he had woken. It was totally silent in the bedroom and so dark that I couldn't see him at all. All of a sudden a little voice whispered, "Dada?". Bless him, he sounded so sweet and poorly. It's the first time he's asked for one of us so very clearly in that kind of situation, and I called Neil up and we both lay in the bed with him while I nursed him and settled him back off to sleep. I want to be close to Arthur all the time at the moment. My heart just goes out to him when he's poorly and I don't know what else to do to help him.
He seems otherwise fine though. He is sleepier than normal during the day, but still has plenty of giggles and smiles and energy at other times.
Today didn't feel much like a special day, which I felt sort of down about because I guess I have always been spoilt where birthdays are concerned - in my family birthdays are always made a big thing of. I guess I can't always have a special pampered day when I'm a busy mummy though! Neil got me CHOCOLATE!!! He didn't know what to get me, and when he asked, I just said chocolate :) It was all I could think of - I'm becoming really useless at thinking of things I want these days. So he and Arthur went shopping and bought me EIGHT boxes of chocolates!!!!!!! All different selections, and including 2 boxes of a dozen Cadbury's Creme Eggs - mmmm! I am going to have to seriously pace myself or else I will produce a 20lb baby at the end of my pregnancy ;) Arthur helped me unwrap every present - they were all individually wrapped :) He wanted me to open them soooo badly! He kept bringing them to me and making all these urgent sounds, so I opened some earlier than I planned to! He unwrapped them once I started the tear in the wrapping paper - he loved that! He helped me open my cards too. I got one from Arthur with a little rhyme written in it, in Neil's writing:
"I wanted to say
this lovely day
that I love you
in every way
You are my mummy
and I grew in your tummy
And I think that
you are scrummy, Mummy"
It was just such a sweet little simply rhyme, and for some reason it really choked me up when I read it. The card had a simple "Happy Birthday Mummy" on the front, and that just filled my heart with joy too :) I LOVE that I'm a mummy! To such a sweet little love as well! :) Lots of things have made me feel tearful today though, so I am probably having a hormonal day or something!
The house is such a complete disasterous MESS and I have had no energy to pick it up. Urgh. Some nice things did happen today but also I have just felt a bit down and knackered, and un-special. I asked Neil if I could have another birthday on Saturday, and he says I can :) I know, I am just a little kid, hehe! But I feel better even over something that silly, because my IDEAL birthday would have been to have a good lie-in, and a relaxing bath (both rare things - I am horribly unhygenic due to complete INopportunity most of the time), and get the chance to do some sewing, and then watch a feel-good movie in the evening with a Dominos Pizza and extra pots of garlic and herb dip! That's all I really wanted to do on my birthday. But Neil went to work so I did not have the lie-in or the bath, or the sewing time. He came home in the afternoon though, which was lovely, but it felt rather wasted as we were both so tired and Arthur needed a lot of attention and comfort. I did start to sew Arthur a nappy wrap though (a bit of a trial as I'm trying to replicate a Motherease Airflow wrap by drawing round one!), and then we DID get pizza and dip - yum! But we watched the figure skating because it was getting too late to start a movie after the AGE it took to settle Arthur down for sleep this evening. He just wouldn't lie down and wanted to play about all the time, urgh. Somehow this HAS to change. Matthew will be here in 3 and a half months and I CAN'T do this with a little baby to look after as well.
But anyway. My 20s are officially behind me, and my 30s have begun!!! I don't feel any different, of course. I don't feel any older, and I'm still excited about the coming decade!
I hope I haven't sounded too complainy about my birthday. I guess I just set my expectations that little bit too high or something. But I just hope Arthur sleeps okay and that tomorrow goes better, and I am looking forward to Birthday Part Two (!!) on Saturday :) I will get to have a lie-in and a baaaath, and we'll watch a movie too, if Arthur sleeps okay during the evening. I have such a lot to be grateful for and I hate to sound ungrateful therefore. Maybe I will feel more cheerful tomorrow? It could well be hormones anyway so that probably makes a big difference.
I hear Arthur-Boo whimpering in his sleep :( I am going to take an antacid (but that pizza was sooooooooooo worth it, hehe!) and climb in bed next to my sweet lovey boy. I hope he feels better tomorrow.
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